“Did you want to say something to me?” Catherine’s voice sounded distant to her own ears, breaking the heavy silence between them.
Alaric shook his head. “It does not matter. Good night, Catherine.”
The band snapped, and Catherine stepped backward. “Good night.”
She felt air returning to her lungs as she left the room, her right hand on her chest while her left clutched her wrist. Her heart pounded and fluttered in her chest.
She walked to her room, listening for the sound of footsteps following her, but all she could hear were her own, punctuated by the steady thrill of her heart.
“What is the matter with me?” Catherine shook her head, letting her hand fall. “All he did was touch my wrist, and I have fallen to pieces.”
“What did he want to tell me?” s he murmured.
Why are you even thinking about it? What does it matter? It does not change anything.
She exhaled slowly. Her heart rate decreased slightly. Catherine tried to push it from her mind. “I will find a governess, and if nothing new has come up, I will leave in a fortnight. Return to my life and friends, and life will go back to the way it should be.”
She strode along the corridor and found herself passing the nursery. A part of her wanted to check on Oliver, to make sure he was all right. She half twisted toward the doorway, taking in the sight of a maid dozing near the bed that had been made up.
Oliver was in it, his hand dangling into the pen that had been set up for Daisy. Catherine suspected that the puppy wouldbe resting against Oliver’s tiny hand. Her heart ached, but she forced herself to keep walking to her own chambers.
As she entered her room, Annabelle was waiting for her. “Where is Master Oliver?”
“He is in the nursery, with his puppy.” Catherine’s voice shook, but she forced herself to smile. “I think she will be good for him.”
Annabelle began to help Catherine change for bed. “I suppose it will make it easier when we return to London.”
“Yes.” Catherine nodded. Her heart felt leaden in her chest as she climbed into her bed. “And as we are hiring a governess, you will be able to relinquish the additional duties you have taken on to care for him.”
“I have not minded, Your Grace. He is a sweet boy.” Annabelle chewed on her lip, eyes flicking between Catherine and the floor. “In truth, I am rather fond of him.”
“I am too,” Catherine admitted. “But that cannot change things. What example would I set for him if I allowed his own family to shirk their responsibilities? What kind of man would he grow into? His father must raise him. It is the right thing to do.”
If Annabelle noticed the slight quaver in Catherine’s voice, she gave no sign of it. “Of course, Your Grace. Will that be all?”
“Yes. Wake me earlier than usual tomorrow. I wish to have breakfast with Oliver. I suspect if he is not supervised, he will feed everything to Daisy.” Catherine could not help but smile as she remembered him sneakily trying to slip the puppy food from his plate at dinner.
“Yes, Ma’am.” Annabelle curtsied and left the room.
Catherine stared up at the canopy of her four-poster bed, drawing her covers around her tightly. Without the sound of Oliver’s gentle breathing outside her room, the ticking of the clock sounded painfully loud.
Every creak her bed made as Catherine tried to get comfortable made her wince. She closed her eyes, trying to focus on her breathing.
“I like being alone. I enjoy having my own space,” Catherine said softly, turning onto her other side. “I want to have my own life.”
‘That is what you want?’Alaric’s words echoed in the silence of Catherine’s rooms. His green eyes filled her mind.
She curled her fingers into her bed covers. “It has to be this way.”
She whispered the words over and over again. As sleep claimed her, she dreamed of an ancient, vibrant evergreen forest, birdsong punctuated by a boy’s laughter, and she felt as if she had come home.
* * *
“You have a visitor, Your Grace.” Mrs. Danvers knocked on the door of Catherine’s study.
It had been three days since the advertisement for a governess was posted. Catherine spent many of those days immersed in references and applications from women eager to become Oliver’s governess.
Catherine had not expected quite so much interest in the position, but Mrs. Danvers assured her it was to be expected. They had whittled the list down to three women and planned to interview them over the next few days.
