Her words hit him like a dagger, but he caught himself just in time not to shy away from her. Instead, he closed the distance between them, keeping his voice soft as he reached for her hand. “But I would like it to be.”
“For now.” She stepped away from him, wrapping her arms around herself and biting her lip.
“I know not what has happened between us, what has caused you to wish to live in different houses.” He saw her eyes widen at his words. “I do not know what hurt I may have caused, or what has transpired in our marriage, but I would see it remedied. Just tell me what must be done, and I will see things put right.”
Her voice was so cold it made a midwinter morning seem warm. “I have no interest in you fixing things. I have already lived through that once, and I have no wish to repeat it.”
“What do you mean?” His heart sped up.
She took another step away from him and looked at the floor, waving his words away. “I should go.”
“Drat it, Catherine, surely we cannot go on like this for the rest of our lives?” He moved toward her, gesturing between them with his hand as he worked to unclench his jaw.
“I see no reason not to.” Her voice was cool as she turned away from him and reached for the door handle.
He shook his head, unable to keep the confusion from his voice. “You married me, why bother going through all of that if you do not want us to make this work? Why will you not let me be your husband?”
“I did not want to marry you!” Catherine shouted as she wheeled around to face him.
The words hit Alaric as though he had been kicked in the chest by a horse. The room spun, and he stumbled backward, shaking his head.
He could smell stale whiskey and cigars. He could hear a woman crying.Are those her tears?He did not want them to be hers. But what if they were?
After all, they were living completely apart from each other, and he could not understand why he would choose that. And she seemed to feel little warmth toward him.
Is that the sort of man I was?The thought made his blood run cold. His chest constricted, as though an invisible hand was clamped hard around him.
Her words echoed around them, and he forced himself to keep looking into her furious eyes. His voice sounded distant, as if it belonged to a much colder, harder man than himself.
“Explain. Now.”
I have to know what kind of monster I am.
For the first time, he wondered if he really did want his memories back.
CHAPTER 9
“Explain. Now.” The force of Alaric’s words was so close to the cold authority Catherine had first experienced from him that it almost snapped her out of her anger.
Almost.
She took in the stiffness of his body and the tension in his jaw. Although his face was blank, she understood what his body language indicated.He is preparing for a fight.The part of Catherine that knew what a polite young lady ought to do urged her to take it back, to control her temper, and to let things go.
Butshe was finished with games, with guessing and wondering when the shoe would drop. He was the one who would not leave things alone, who kept behaving so confusingly. And yet, here was proof of what her heart had suspected all along.
He has not changed that much.
She opened her mouth, trying to figure out how to explain as she kept her gaze on the floor.
“Please, Catherine, tell me the truth.” His voice sounded strangled and soft, and when she looked up, she saw that all color had drained from his face.
He looked at her with the wild-eyed stare of an animal caught in a trap and confronted by a hunter.He is terrified.She shook her head, trying to make sense of what she was seeing.
“Did I force… How… Did I…” The Duke swallowed and looked at the ground, murmuring so softly that Catherine was not sure if he realized she could hear him. “Lord above, let it not be so. Please. Tell me I am not that kind of man.”
Understanding dawned on her, and she had taken half a step toward him before she realized. She caught herself and exhaled softly. She could see the pain etched in every tense muscle of Alaric’s body, the color fading from his face.
“I am not sure what kind of man you were, Alaric.” Catherine kept her voice soft as her husband’s eyes snapped toward her. “Nor what kind of man you are, but from what I did know of you, I know you would not enactthatsort of monstrosity.”
