‘It’s notbeef,’ Alice corrected. ‘It’s logic. The whole point of science is to make sense of the world that we live in, so why do I feel more confused every time I open the weather app?’
‘Oh, right,’ Noah said, snapping his fingers before pointing at Alice as though he’d pulled a trivia answer from the back of his head. ‘You think meteorology is pseudoscience.’
‘Of course it is,’ she scoffed. ‘Would you trust someone who lied to you every day, knowing they would be caught out immediately?’
‘No,’ Harper said.
‘Exactly,’ Alice said, waving her now-empty beer bottle in agreement. Her limbs felt loose with alcohol. IPAs always snuck up on her. ‘Why? Because it doesn’t just make them unreliable, it also makes themstupid.’
‘Oh, are we talking about meteorologists?’ Briar asked, sliding into the circle and grabbing the solo cup out of Harper’s hand to take a sip. ‘It’s impressive that you can turn any conversation into your tight-five on meteorology, Alice.’ She gave no sign that she was either surprised or annoyed to find Alice in her home.
‘I brought it up,’ Noah said, like the loyal ex-boyfriend he was.
‘Man, I’ve missed you,’ Rafa said, straightening and wiping a single tear of laughter from his eye as he looked at Alice. He turned back to the fridge and handed her another beer, cheers-ing demonstratively before they each took large gulps.
A warmth spread through Alice at being in on the joke. It felt unreal to be standing in a circle of her high school friends, as though she still belonged here. As though she’d never even left. She wondered what that life would be like, if that alternate Alice was happy here. It would certainly look very different from London, where Alice rarely left her flat except to take the train to Oxford.
‘Rafa,’ Briar said, ‘help me with the grill?’
‘On it.’ He hugged Alice from the side. ‘Catch up later?’
‘Mmkay,’ she said into his shoulder before he departed along with Briar. ‘That was weird,’ Alice said, blinking at Noah in confusion. ‘I never thought he liked me very much.’
‘What?’ Noah said, his brows pulling together. ‘Of course Rafa liked you.’
‘Just a theory,’ Harper said, her tone dry, ‘but have you ever considered that you’re not good at telling when people like you?’
Alice had nothing to say to that. She didn’t want to voice what she’d suspected for years: that nobody except Briar had talked to her at school before she’d started dating Noah, so it followed that they’d all only liked her for his sake.
Harper didn’t seem to notice Alice’s silence. ‘I see Valentina mixing margs outside, I’m gonna grab one.’
She kissed Noah on the cheek and went out the back door, greeted by hollers from a girl Alice assumed was Valentina.
Noah shook his head ruefully, then looked back at Alice. ‘So, how are you doing? How’s camp?’
Alice shifted uncomfortably. ‘You don’t have to talk to me. You can hang out with your friends.’
‘Iwantto talk to you,’ Noah said, as though he were explaining something obvious. ‘It’s been a while.’
Alice narrowed her eyes at him suspiciously, the beer making her a little too honest. ‘I don’t get it. How can you be so nice to me after what I did to you?’
‘Neither of us was perfect,’ Noah said, like it was that simple. Alice was gripped with the desire to shake him by the shoulders, just to get him to finally be annoyed at her – which was how she knew she was definitely the less perfect of the two of them.
‘Maybe, but you were a hell of a lot closer,’ she said, taking another sip of beer. ‘Shit, I’m doing this all wrong, aren’t I?’
Noah grinned, she assumed in reaction to her tipsy cursing. ‘What are you doing wrong?’
Alice took a deep breath, with only the alcohol fueling her next words. ‘I meant to apologize as soon as I had a moment alone with you. Because I’m so sorry for how things ended. So, so, fucking sorry. So—’ She hiccupped.
‘Fucking sorry?’ Noah guessed, raising his eyebrows. ‘Yeah, I got that.’
Alice ran her hand over her face. ‘I’m trying to explain.’
‘You’re doing great,’ Noah said. ‘You’re sorry. That part’s covered. Can I say my piece?’
Alice squinted at him, trying to figure out his angle, and then nodded.
‘Look, I spent a lot of time thinking about what I could have done differently, so that you didn’t feel like you could never face me again. I mean, am I that scary?’ He paused, but Alice just stared at him, confused, and he finally shrugged. ‘It was a long time ago. We were just kids. And I’m getting married to the love of my life, so I think it all worked out.’
