Briar sighed. ‘I don’t know. Ignore me. I’m just being crazy.’
Sierra leaned in close, resting her hands on Briar’s knees and looking at her intently. ‘You’re not being crazy. Ever.’
Briar found the eye contact unnerving but made an effort not to squirm away. ‘Okay.’
‘Grief is weird. When my dad died, I did a lot of weird shit,’ Sierra said. ‘Like cyberstalking a pop star and convincing myself she’d been replaced by a lookalike clone kind of weird shit. This summer you get a pass, okay?’
Briar nodded, staring down at her hands. ‘Thanks.’
Sierra leaned back. ‘And I’m here if you need to talk or whatever.’
‘Yeah, I’ll let you know if I have any more crises about my ex-best friend’s sexuality.’
Sierra laughed. ‘But seriously, how does Alice being here make you feel?’
‘Like I’m in high school again,’ she answered, but that wasn’t quite right. It felt more like Briar was stuck in a dream where she found out that an outstanding credit was preventing her from graduating and she was being forced to repeat every class over again.
‘Hmm,’ Sierra hummed. ‘What are you going to do about it?’
Briar shrugged. ‘Keep torturing her until she eventually leaves.’
That surprised a laugh out of Sierra. ‘That’s one way to deal with it.’
That night, the counselors decided to go swimming to celebrate the opening of a newly spider-and mushroom-free boathouse. Cook had finally gotten the PA system working so they could blast music out over the dark water of the lake, while Freddie and a few of the counselors had strung up lights over the dock and small beach.
Briar ignored the rest of the counselors and waded into the water. Even with the extra light, the dark water gave her pause. Briar had never loved the lake, no matter how much her mother had encouraged her, preferring the clarity and cleanliness of a pool over slime-covered rocks. But the water was refreshingly cold against her aching body.
She enjoyed the relative peace, listening to the group talk and laugh together. It was comforting to listen to other people’s happiness even if she felt far removed from it. It was as if happiness was reminding her that it was still there, waiting for her whenever she was ready to feel it again.
‘Um, Briar?’
Briar knew who it was without turning around. ‘Yes, Alice?’
‘I was hoping we could talk?’ She swam out past where Briar was standing, then turned back to her. Her hair looked black in the moonlight, her eyes catching the light dancing off the water. Her pale pink bralette was practically transparent when wet. Briar swallowed, realizing Alice must have forgotten to pack a bathing suit. Her eyes involuntarily traced a droplet of water down Alice’s neck. Alice coughed and Briar’s eyes shot back to her face.
‘I don’t think so.’
Alice pouted. She’d always been able to convince Briar with that look.
‘I just wanted to go through the final to-dos before the campers get here,’ Alice said. She tilted her head into the water and ran a hand through her hair to slick it back. Briar was distracted from responding by the faded tattoo hiding just behind Alice’s left ear. It was her first glimpse of the tattoo she’d sketched for Alice; Briar had assumed she’d gotten it removed.
‘Hmm,’ she said. Alice cast dark eyes up at her, patiently waiting for Briar’s response. ‘Fine.’
Alice stood so they were eye to eye. Briar was very aware that they were both almost naked under the line of the water.
‘The upper cabins need to be cleaned and the greenhouse needs tending to. Cook said the fridge is acting up so I’m going to call the repairman tomorrow. A camper’s parents have already called the office twice to talk through her list of medications and allergies, so I’ll follow up with them tomorrow. Freddie said we need more towels, so I’ll be sending a group to the nearest Walmart for provisions. It couldn’t hurt to also stock up on sunscreen and bug spray. Also, Sierra mentioned putting tampons and pads in all the bathrooms for any individuals that need them. You don’t have an issue with that, right?’
Briar’s eyes had squeezed shut long before Alice finished her list, an ache already forming above her left eyebrow. There was still so much to do; she couldn’t fathom how Alice kept it all straight in her head. She opened them to Alice’s expectant face, and whatever calm she’d found within herself dissipated.
‘Don’t you ever relax?’
Alice blinked at her. ‘Um, no, obviously.’ A ghost of a smile played at her lips and Briar almost returned it before catching herself.
‘That all sounds fine,’ Briar said, not caring enough about their feud to refuse help that she knew she needed.
‘And then, I think we should really come up with some sort of sys—’
Briar didn’t let her finish. ‘Any system will be shot in two days, trust me.’
