‘No,’ Oliver said, not bothering to hide his contempt, ‘you know how much I love your ideas, Paige. Let’s hear it.’
Both Declan and Jack looked taken aback by the exchange, but Paige just ignored him. ‘On the last day, you’re expected to exchange vows of commitment, and I thought it might be nice to have the five of you work on them together. Like, you’re all bad at expressing your feelings, so you’re helping each other out… you get it?’
If Oliver hadn’t been sure that she was fucking with him from the start, he was now. ‘Oh,Iget it,’ he said, ‘but I’m not sure the rest of them have caught on.’
‘I get it,’ James replied, indignant. ‘I’m good with words, though. I mean, my songs are a form of poetry.’
It was Declan’s turn to snort. ‘Yes, modern Lennon over here.’
Elliot looked overwhelmed. ‘I’m, um, happy to try my best,’ he said, ‘but I’ve only been here two days? I mean’ – he looked at Oliver – ‘Eavie and I aren’t even a couple?’
Oliver shrugged. ‘No need to tiptoe around it on my account – I’m happy for you two.’
‘Wait, what?’ Jack asked, frowning at him. ‘Since when are you and Eavie broken up?’
‘Since yesterday.’ Oliver turned to Paige. ‘So, who am I meant to write my speech to?’
‘I’m sure you’ll think of someone,’ Paige said drily.
She directed them over to the swing, where she had set out notepads and pens. Two cameras were already trained on the area.
The rest of the men got to work, scribbling away, while Oliver stared despondently at the blank sheet of paper. He couldn’t figure out the least disastrous way to handle things, the decision that would make him feel least like he was orchestrating his own demise for public spectacle.
‘Okay,’ Paige said, walking back over. She glanced at Oliver’s blank notepad and frowned. ‘Let’s hear it – James, you go.’
Though James stood and started reading, Oliver couldn’t focus on the words. When he thought of coming out, he thought of telling his friends and family, and the idea of that didn’t bother him. But coming out on national television would put him under a scrutiny he wasn’t prepared for, his sexuality too new for even him to feel expert in.
He couldn’t stop himself from looking at Declan. When the kiss aired on Sunday, Declan’s whole life, the one he had worked so hard for, would fall apart. And it would be Oliver’s fault – he kept thinking that if he’d acted sooner, if he’d played the game better, he would have been able to find a way out of this mess for the both of them. Instead, he was frozen, powerless, watching Paige’s plan unfurl before him, and the most he’d been able to do was to sling a few barbs her way. It wasn’t nearly enough.
‘Declan, your turn,’ Paige said.
Declan nodded, standing, and Oliver wished he could be anywhere else. Despite the torture Paige had put him through this week, he knew listening to Declan pretend to be in love with Imogen would be the thing to finally break him.
‘I can admit this now, since we’ve come to the end,’ Declan read, the words coming out stilted and awkward. ‘I didn’t come here to find someone. I didn’t think I could. I thought I’d havea holiday, I’d get my face on TV, and then I’d go back home and that’d be it.’
He swallowed. ‘Now, I’m not sure Icango back… Knowing you has changed me, and I don’t think I’d fit there like I used to. You’ve shown me how to be myself, and I didn’t realise how exhausted I was with pretending to be someone else,’ he said, his voice growing rougher. ‘I met you and it was like I could breathe.’ He paused, the piece of paper fluttering in his shaking hand.
‘Sorry, I’m not sure how to end this. I’m not good at saying things I actually mean. I guess I’m just glad I met you.’ Declan glanced up, catching Oliver’s eye, and, for a brief moment, it felt like they were alone. For once, Declan’s face was open, and he was showing Oliver everything.
‘Um, wow,’ Jack said, breaking the silence. ‘That was… deep?’
Declan held Oliver’s gaze for a moment longer before sitting down.
‘Oliver?’ Paige said, looking at him intently.
Oliver stood and turned to face everyone, blank paper in hand. He glanced at Declan, clearing his throat, with no idea what came next. He had spent his life in a constant series of next steps, but now he wished he could stop everything from moving forwards.
He had only ever really made one decision: pursuing ballet. His family had thought he was a ridiculous dreamer, the boys at school had thought he was strange, and still Oliver had found a way to make it happen. He hadn’t wanted anything like he’d wanted that in a long time. He hadn’t allowed himself to. He’d made a plan and never strayed from it, paralysed by the fear of losing everything.
He’d come on the show because his friends had responded to Paige’s DM and he’d gone along with it. He’d been pliant to all of Paige’s manipulations, not making a single decision for himself.
But as Declan looked at him, he knew he had to fix this. He at least had to try. If not for himself, he could do it for Declan.
‘Actually, I won’t do this.’ He turned, walking towards the villa.
Paige was immediately on his heels. ‘What’s going on? That was the perfect set-up.’
He turned to look at her, feeling oddly elated, despite the fact that he had no idea what he was going to do. ‘I’ve got a plan.’
