The words land softly. Quietly. Like he’s afraid saying them too loud will break something.
“I love you,” he repeats, stronger this time. “I have for weeks. Maybe since our first night together. And it terrifies me more than anything the Volkovs could ever do.”
I should feel triumphant. I should feel vindicated. Instead, all I feel is a bone-deep ache.
“Then why are you trying so hard to push me away?”
“Because loving you makes you a target.” He closes the distance between us, stopping just short of touching me. “Because every enemy I’ve ever made will see you as my weakness. And if something happened to you because of me, I would burn this entire city to the ground, and that scares me almost as much as losing you does.”
“So your solution is to send me away? To set me up in some apartment across town and pretend I don’t exist?”
“I’ll do whatever I need to do to keep you alive. Even if that means breaking my own heart.”
“I’ve gone some news for you, Menlow. I was alive before I met you. I managed just fine.”
“You weren’t being hunted by Bratva before you met me.”
“No, I was just being sold out by my boss and threatened by men I’d never seen before. Or did you forget that’s how this whole thing started? I was already in danger. You didn’t create that. You saved me from it.”
He opens his mouth to argue, but I cut him off.
“You want to know what I think? I think you’re using Jovan as an excuse. I think you’re so used to being in control of everything that when something comes along you can’t control—like feelings, like love—you don’t know what to do with it. So you push it away. You try to manage it like it’s a business problem instead of a human one.”
“That’s not—”
“Let me finish. You love me. Fine. I love you, too. But love isn’t supposed to feel like a prison sentence. It’s not supposed to be something that drives us apart.”
His breath catches. “You love me?”
“Of course I do, you impossible man.” I want to shake him. I want to kiss him. I settle for poking him in the chest. “Why do you think I’m so angry? Why do you think it hurt so much when you told me to leave? If I didn’t love you, I would have taken your money and your apartment and your nice new job and been grateful for the fresh start. Instead, I packed a bag and ran to a hotel because I couldn’t stand to take anything that reminded me of you.”
“Kirsten…”
“I’m not done.” I poke him again. “You think keeping me at arm’s length will keep me safe? It won’t. All it does is make us both miserable. Jovan doesn’t care where I sleep at night. If he wants to find me, he’ll find me. The only difference is whether I’m facing that threat alone or with you.”
“I can’t protect you if you’re not with me.”
“Exactly!” I throw my hands up. “That’s exactly my point! You can’t protect me if I’m across town in some apartment you picked out. You can’t protect me if I’m pretending to work at some job you arranged. The only way you can actually keep me safe is if I’m with you. By your side. Where you can see me and reach me and fight for me if you need to.”
He’s quiet for a long moment. I can see him working through it, that brilliant mind of his turning my words over and examining them from every angle.
“You really believe that?” he asks.
“I know it.” I soften my voice as I continue. “Menlow, I watched you fight through an entire warehouse to get to me. I saw what you did to those men. I know what you’re capable of when someone threatens the people you love. Do you really think I’m safer somewhere you can’t reach me?”
“No.” The word comes out rough. Torn. “No, I don’t.”
“Then stop trying to send me away.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“Yes, it is.” I reach up and cup his face in my hands, forcing him to look at me. “You love me. I love you. We’re already married. The hard part is done. Everything else is just details.”
“Details like a Bratva war and a man who wants to use you to destroy me?”
“Details like having a partner who knows what she signed up for and isn’t going to run at the first sign of trouble.” I stroke my thumb across his cheekbone. “I’m not a civilian anymore, Menlow. I haven’t been since the day you put that contract in front of me. I know who you are. I know what your family does. And I’m still here. Doesn’t that tell you something?”
He closes his eyes and leans into my touch. When he speaks, his voice is barely above a whisper.
