"We're doing both," Finn says firmly.
Malcolm opens his mouth.
Closes it.
"Fine," he says. The word sounds like it costs him something each time.
Rhys shifts beside me. "I don't want to lead," he says, flat and certain. "I'm saying that now."
"Nobody's asking you to lead," Malcolm says.
"I'm saying it anyway. Someone needs to say it because if it gets left ambiguous someone will eventually look at me and think I should have an opinion about pack direction and I won't. I'll have an opinion about Vee and about not getting into fights I don't need to be in. That's the extent of my leadership ambitions."
Despite everything, Finn's mouth curves.
"Noted," he says.
"Also someone needs to keep Malcolm's impulsiveness in check," Rhys continues, in the same flat tone. "That was always Alex's job. I nominate Finn."
"I'm already doing it," Finn says.
"Then keep doing it."
"Hey," Malcolm says.
"You called Alex sixteen times in twenty minutes," Rhys says.
"I called him—" Malcolm stops. Counts. "Twelve. It was twelve."
"My point stands."
I look between them. This exchange, dry and familiar, is so normal that it aches. The same and completely different. Alex's chair is empty and they're still doing this, still functioning, stillholding themselves together through the specific mechanism of being themselves.
I ache with how fiercely I need them.
"We need to figure out the registry," Finn says, pulling us back. "Now that Alex isn't the lead, the flag doesn't attach to the pack anymore. Technically Vee can stay. But we need to inform Chase, who needs to inform the registry, and we need to do it before they try to move her somewhere."
"Call Chase back," I say.
"Already texting him," Finn says. His thumbs move across his phone. "He needs to know the full picture."
"He's going to try to talk us into accepting this," Malcolm says.
"Probably," Finn agrees.
"We're not accepting this."
"I know."
"I want that on record. This is temporary. We get Alex back or we—" He stops, looks away. "We figure something out."
The room is quiet.
"Malcolm," I say.
He looks at me.
"I know," I say. "I know you're not accepting it. Neither am I." I pause. "But you also get to want this. What Alex did—it means we get to be together. You and me and Finn and Rhys. You're allowed to want that even while you're angry at him for how he did it."
