I hold on for a long time.
When I finally pull back his eyes are bright and he doesn't say anything and I don't either. He sits down in the armchair, pulls me into his lap and turns me so I can face the room. His arms stay around me and I let them.
Arden takes a seat. Chase settles across from us, and they walk us through it—Jasper's testimony, Eli's testimony, the recordings, the board's response, the female alpha who delivered the verdict with disdain she didn't bother to conceal.
Drake listens from his chair by the window. When Chase explains the classes he and Eli will need to complete, Drake's expression is solemn but clear.
"Good," he says. "That's right."
Chase's expression softens slightly toward Drake, not quite forgiveness but perhaps the first step on that path. "You and Eli are fortunate. There's a road back if you take it seriously."
Drake nods. "I will."
"I know." Chase means it. I can tell.
Then Chase turns to me.
"Vee." He pauses. "There's something else."
I look at him.
"Ragon has been flagged. The same restriction Alex carries." His chooses his words slowly. "No omega contact. He is not permitted to take custody of an omega in the future."
The room is quiet.
I sit with it.
Ragon carries a flag now.
Because of what he did. Because of what happened to me. He's on the other side of the same wall that's been keeping Alex from me, except Alex got his trying to protect someone and Ragon got his from destroying someone. It's the same flag but they are not the same thing.
"He has no one now," I say. The words come out quieter than I expect.
"No," Chase agrees. "He doesn't. Jasper informed me Eli broke his bond as well."
Drake sucks in a breath from his corner.
I think about Ragon before Marie. The man that used to take me to the zoo because he knew I loved it. The alpha that smiled from the lakeshore at Drake dunking me in the water. The one that patted my forehead with a cold cloth when I was sick.
That man is gone. I've known that for a long time. But knowing it doesn't mean I can't grieve him. It doesn't mean I can't feel the sadness of someone I once loved becoming someone I had to be protected from.
He's lost everything. His pack is gone—Drake is here, Eli testified against him and then left, Jasper never his to begin with. His scent match is back at the registry. His omega was removed by a board who looked at him with disdain. And now the flag, ensuring he has to sit with what he's done for the rest of his life.
I hope he moves on someday. I hope he finds his way back to the man he was before whatever broke in him decided to break on me. I hope he forms a pack without an omega, learns how to be a pack lead worth having, figures out what it means to actually care for someone.
I hope he gets there.
I just don't want to be there to see it.
"I don't regret it," I say. "The hearing. Any of it." I look at Chase. "I know I deserved better than what he gave me. Even before all of this… I never deserved to have to wait in limbo for five years. I didn't see it then, but I know that now." I pause. "But I'm still sad for him."
Chase nods. "That's allowed."
"That's healthy," Arden adds.
I lean back against Alex's chest.
His arms tighten slightly.
