"But Jasper wasn't bonded to them. She didn't need that many alphas."
"It didn't matter to Ragon. He wanted to make sure Jasper was under his control. That he'd be as weak-willed as the rest of us. It was a power move. I couldn't see it then but I can now. Everything Ragon ever does is about control."
The logic is cold and clinical and the truth of it festers.
Drake's head drops. "None of it was enough. We should have tried harder."
"Yeah," I say. "You should have."
Silence falls. Heavy and suffocating.
"It wasn't just the heat," Drake says finally. "I failed you long before that. The nest. The zoo. Every time I ignored you. Every time I chose her. Every time I did nothing while Ragon ordered your neglect." His voice breaks. "I didn't stand up for you. I failed you in every way that mattered. And you deserve so much better. You always did."
The apology sits between us and I don't know what to do with it.
"Where's Marie now?" I ask.
"Ragon sent her back to the registry."
My eyes widen. "What?"
"None of us wanted her to stay. Not after we found out what she did." He rubs his palms over his knees. "Not even Ragon. The scent match didn't matter anymore. Not after we figured out she was that type of person."
The words crack open inside me.
"The scent match didn't matter," I repeat. I say it very calm. Too calm.
Drake's eyes widen. "Vee—"
"The scent matchdidn't matter."
"Let me get this straight." I stand. "It didn't matter once you found out she lied?" My tone is rising. "But it mattered enough to erase five years of love. It mattered enough to make you forget I existed. It mattered enough to watch her destroy me and do nothing!"
"Vee—"
"I've been here with my own scent matches for weeks and I haven't turned into a mindless idiot drooling over them. I haven't forgotten how to be a decent person. I haven't abandoned everyone I claimed to love."
Drake flinches.
"But you?" I'm pacing. "You couldn't go five minutes without falling all over Marie. Couldn't think past the biology. Couldn't remember that I was a person with feelings, and wants, and needs."
"I know—"
"And then when the shit really hit the fan—" I spin to face him. "When she was gone and you finally had to face what you did, suddenly you could flip the switch. Suddenly you could rise above the biology. Suddenly the pull didn't. Fucking. Matter."
Tears are streaming down my face and I don't care.
"After everything. After all the pain and hurt and neglect. After watching me fall apart and disappear. After leaving me alone during my heat curled up on a fucking porch." My voice cracks. "THEN you figured out you had a choice. THEN you decided you could control it."
"Yes." Drake's says. "Yes. And I hate myself for it."
"Well fuck that. And fuck you, Drake. Fuck you for making me believe I wasn't enough. Fuck you for choosing her over me every single time. Fuck you for only caring after you lost me."
I'm shouting. Drake is crying, silent tears tracking down his face, and he doesn't argue or defend himself. He just takes it.
"You want to know the worst part?" I ask. He nods. "I still love you. Some stupid part of me still loves you and I HATE it. I hate that you can do all of that to me and I still care if you're okay."
My hands are shaking. My chest is heaving.
