I sit there for a while longer, then get up and change into comfortable clothes and climb into bed, pulling the extra blankets around me until I've made something that's almost a nest. Tomorrow I'll deal with the complicated feelings. Today I got a day off, and it mostly worked.
That's more than I've had in a long time.
Chapter 26
Vee
The woods are quiet this time of day.
I've been walking for an hour, maybe longer, just following the trails that wind through the trees behind the cabin and letting my mind drift. It's been a good day—remembering yoga with Finn yesterday, no heavy conversations, no revelations. Just existing.
But the anxiety is creeping back in because Drake is still on the couch, still recovering, still looking at me with those eyes that used to make me feel safe. And I still don't know what happened. Don't know if they claimed Marie during her heat, don't know the details of what went down in that house while I was alone. I don't know anything except what I saw and what I felt and the hollow ache that hasn't gone away.
I need to ask. I don't want to, because I'm terrified of the answers, but I can't keep looking at him every day and not knowing.
The cabin comes into view through the trees.
Alex and Malcolm are on the porch. Alex in one of the wooden chairs, Malcolm leaning against the railing. They look up when I emerge from the tree line.
"Good walk?" Malcolm asks.
"Yeah."
I climb the porch steps and lean against the rail a few feet from him. The silence stretches, comfortable, the kind that doesn't need filling.
Then Malcolm holds his arms out.
I stare at him. "You know we shouldn't do that."
"Why not?"
"You know why."
"We've done it before, Vee."
"That was different. I needed alpha comfort. I needed a purr."
His expression shifts, something playful and serious at once. "Why does it have to be about need? Why not just because it feels good? Why not take it because you want it?"
The question catches me off guard. I've always taken comfort when I needed it—when I was breaking down or scared or hurting. But just because I want it?
I hesitate, thinking about another time I asked for something just because I wanted it and got shut down instead. But he's the one offering.
I cross to him and settle into his lap. His huge tattooed arms cage me in and the relief is immediate, his strong coffee scent wrapping around me, his warmth seeping in.
I let myself have this, not because I need it, because I want it.
Malcolm's purr starts, rumbling through his chest into mine. I close my eyes and lean into him, and when I open them Alex is watching.
It’s right there in his face—longing, want, carefully controlled. Guilt stabs through me.
"I can—" I start.
Alex shakes his head. "It's better if we don't."
The words sting more than they should. Heat creeps up my neck and flashes of old rejection hit me before I can stop them—Ragon pulling away, Drake choosing Marie, Eli going quiet, always not enough, always wrong somehow.
Alex is out of his chair before I finish the thought.
