"Another round?" Alex asks.
"God no," Finn says.
"You're just scared you'll lose again."
"I'm preserving my sanity."
"So yes. Scared."
"I'm going to put you in a headlock."
"You can try."
I watch them. The easy affection. How they move around each other like they've been doing this for years. Which they have.
The bond tugs, stronger this time. I want this, want them. Want to be part of this pack in a way that feels permanent.
The thought terrifies me.
I stand up. "I'm going to get water."
I don't look at the couch as I pass, but I feel Drake's eyes follow me across the room.
I don't turn around.
I don't know what it looks like from over there.
But I notice, when I finally look over on my way to get water, that he's not watching Malcolm or Alex or even Finn.
He's watching Rhys with an expression I recognize.
Because I've worn it.
It's the look you get when you see someone being given something you didn't give. When you understand, in a way that has nothing to do with logic and everything to do with a gut feeling, that you are watching someone else be chosen.
I go to the kitchen and get my water.
And I don't feel guilty about what he saw.
***
It's late.
I'm in bed staring at the ceiling. The room is dark except for a sliver of moonlight through the curtains.
I've brought extra blankets onto the bed. I didn't consciously decide to do it, but I found myself pulling them from the closet and arranging them around me.
It's not quite a nest, but it's something.
My omega is trying. Even here, even now after everything.
I think about Ragon.
Wonder what he's doing right now. If he's home, if he's with Marie.
I haven't had the courage to ask Drake about Marie yet. If they bonded her before he left.
Part of me doesn't want to know.
