I crouch down to her level, forcing a smile. “Think of it like a little adventure, baby. It’s not every day that we get to visit a brand new city, right?” I stand and gesture around us. “And look at this place. It’s pretty cool, isn’t it?”
Hannah takes a tentative step toward the window, peering out at the unfamiliar skyline.
“Do you want to see the rest of the penthouse, baby?” I continue, keeping my voice light. “It’s really something.”
And it is. I can’t deny that. Modern, spacious, three bedrooms upstairs with two full bathrooms. The master suite has a soaking tub I used last night, letting the hot water ease some of the tension from my shoulders.
But what struck me most were the details. Toys arranged on the shelves in Hannah’s room, as if they’d always been there. When I opened the closet last night, I found new clothes—my size, Hannah’s size—hanging neatly on the rack. Everything we’d need, already waiting.
Nikolai must have arranged it all. Somehow. Despite everything happening around him.
I hear him move behind me and I turn, half-expecting that intense stare of his. Instead, I find myself looking at a stuffed bear.
“This is for you, Hannah.” Nikolai kneels down, offering it to her with both hands.
My throat tightens.
This—watching him try to connect with our daughter—is almost harder than everything else we’ve been through. I’ve imagined this moment so many times. Dreamed about it during those first brutal months after his “death.” Nikolai meeting Hannah. Hannah having a father.
But not like this. Never like this.
“His name is, um... Mr. Brummy,” Nikolai says, and there’s something different in his voice. Softer. Uncertain in a way I’ve never heard from him before.
Hannah’s eyes light up. She takes the bear carefully, hugging it to her chest.
“What do we say?” I prompt gently.
“Thank you,” Hannah whispers, looking up at him with those blue eyes—his eyes.
Nikolai’s expression shifts. Something warm breaks through that perpetual guard he keeps up. He almost smiles. Really smiles, not the dangerous half-smirk I remember, but something genuine.
“No problem, kiddo.”
He stands and glances at me. That same warmth is still there, lingering in his gaze.
My heart does something complicated in my chest.
I look away, focusing on Hannah and her new bear.
This is about keeping her safe. That’s all. I can’t let myself get distracted by the ghost of what we used to be, by the man I thought I’d lost forever.
No matter how much seeing him with Hannah makes me ache for everything we should have had.
A sound from the kitchen pulls my attention, making me flinch. A woman I don’t recognize is putting away dishes, moving around the space like she knows exactly where everything belongs.
My body tenses automatically.
“Lauren, this is Claire,” Nikolai says. “She manages the estate. She’s been here for years.”
Claire is petite, maybe late fifties, with kind eyes and graying brunette hair pulled back in a clip. When she notices me watching, she offers a warm smile. “Hi there.”
“I trust her,” Nikolai adds quietly.
Coming from him, that means something. Nikolai doesn’t trust easily.
“It’s nice to meet you, Lauren.” Claire sets down the dish towel, approaching us. “And who’s this little one?”
Hannah perks up, clutching her bear. “I’m Hannah!”
