“They’regoing to hurt me.” I thrust a hand toward the door. “They’ll make it horrible. Painful. Terrifying. They’re going to keep me alive for as long as it takes to get the code, and I’m not giving it up, which means I’ll exist in hell. Not truly alive, but not blessed enough to be dead.”
“No.” His face twists in agony. “I won’t do it.”
“You’re safe as long as you don’t admit we fell in love. Make up a code and tell them I died while you were torturing me. Tell them I gave in at the last moment, and now it’s done. They can’t bring me back after that. With my death comes the end of this war.”
“Nova—”
“I didn’t realize before. I hadn’t considered the reality that whoever possesses the codemustdie.”
His hand shakes. It’s a violent fluttering he tries desperately to control as he strokes my cheek.
“I’m already dying,” I choke out. “I don’t even mind, really. I want to go to my family.”
“Baby.” A single, fat tear rolls onto his cheek. “No.”
“This is my destiny, Lincoln. Ryan fought back by writing that letter, but even he knewNova Nicholsmust die to make this go away. He couldn’t accept the stark truth, so he tried to create a loophole, a new identity, and a new home. But I would have been hiding all along. Running. Scared,” I whisper. “Which isn’t living at all.”
His beautiful eyes flicker between mine, so soft, so sweet, so broken.
“Death is my destiny. And maybe we met and fell in love for a reason?—”
“Exactly!” He clings to my words. “We met and fell in lovefor a reason. If you give up now, you dishonorourdestiny. Let me come to that new lifewithyou, Nova. I could love her, too. Whoever she is. Whatever her name.”
“And abandon your sister?” I force a smile onto my face and desperately attempt to show him bravery, despite the bone-deep exhaustion I feel. “If you leave her, then Aster breaksanotherheart. We’re stuck here, Lincoln. In this house. You think I didn’t see the security panels? The guards? The guns.” I swipe my eyes clear again. “I’m not walking out that front door. Not today. Not ever. The only way I get to leave is in a body bag. Butyoustill have a chance.”
“I’m not abandoning you.” He clutches my face, his long fingers stretching around to cup the back of my head. “You’re so fucking sure everyone eventually leaves, Nova. But not me. I refuse.”
“If you try to get me out, they’ll know you’re no longer on their side. You’ll die, they’ll capture me again, and we'll end up right back here with torture and Tank. That outcome still leaves Scarlett abandoned, and me, alone with a man who thinks he can rape a string of numbers into existence. If, by some miraculous chance you get me out successfully, we’ll always be on the run. We’ll always be in hiding. And if Aster finds us, which he probably will, seeing as how fucking determined he is, then you still abandon Scarlett, you’ll probably die anyway, and then I end up right back here, captured, violated,and clamping my lips shut because I refuse to give up the numbers they want so badly.”
My entire body shakes, aching and weak, but I push off the bed and whimper at the burning pain that radiates up through my feet. Still, I step forward, thankful that Lincoln supports my weight, and rest my ear against his pounding heart. “There’s no happy ending for us. But there’s mercy… if you help me toward death.”
His pulse skips and stutters beneath my ear.
“You have guns,” I whisper. “And a knife, probably. Maybe our destiny wasn’t to fall in love and be together forever. Maybe it was to fall in lovefor now, so you could help me onto the next step.”
“To kill you,” he moans, setting his chin atop my head and crushing me in a tight embrace. “You can dress it up however you like, Nova, use whatever pretty words you think will help, but you’re asking me to kill you. I won’t do it.”
“You could deepen the wound on my neck.” I wrap my arms around his torso and hold on with every ounce of strength I have left. “It wouldn’t even hurt. You could slice my wrists and sit with me until it’s over.” I wipe my face on his shirt and swallow the sobbing despair trying so desperately to undo us both. If I give in to the fear, I might not follow through. If I consider a life where we escape and live our happily ever after, I might falter… just in time for reality to sprint back in and kick my ass.
Death is inevitable. But choosing how it happens, lying with someone you love in those last moments… that’s a blessing.
“I’d rather sleep beside you than bleed under Tank,” I whimper. “If those are my choices, then I know which I’ll make a million times over.”
“But there has to be a third choice.” He pulls back, exposing dark, glittering eyes. “Theremustbe. The universe owes you more than this.”
“Maybe the universe gave me my gifts already.” My lips curl into a trembling smile as I reach up and swipe the tears from his cheeks. Our roles have finally reversed; I allowed my villain to clean my face and hold me while I grieved. Now, I get to be his villain, stealing his heart and refusing to give it back.
Before my final betrayal, I have the honor of wiping away his tears.
“My destinycouldhave been like Arabella’s. Brutality.” I swallow. “Violence. Dying at the hands of my enemy. But the universe allows methisopportunity instead, where it would be like falling asleep. Lucky me, I get to do it while staring into the eyes of the man I loveandend a decades-long war. There’s honor in that.”
“No.”
“And dignity.”
“No! I won’t do it.”
“Then give me the knife,” I whisper past a hitching exhale. “Turn away. Let me choose for myself.”
