“Either way, I see no problem with drawing if it brings you happiness.” With my hands clean and dry, I turn to her the way I turn to a nurse in the OR, hands up, readying for my gown. “What do you want me to do?”
She snorts and pushes the garlic and chopping board along the counter. “Chop that, Doc. Nice and small. Permission to turn the stove on? That would mean creating fire.”
I chuckle under my breath and pick up the knife. “Permission granted. Also, I was thinking you should come to the gym with me tomorrow after work.”
She skids to a stop and jerks her head around, her eyes locking on to mine. She blinks. Blinks. Blinks. “What?”
“You know my buddies own a fight gym, right? It’s world-class and spits out world champions like it’s easy. They run kiddie classes in the afternoons and adult classes in the evenings. Pro fighters do their thing during the day, working on their fitness or whatever, but they dedicate three o’clock onwards to teaching others.”
“Which explains why you came home with a bruised jaw yesterday, I suppose.”
I hate that I’ve knocked the smile clean off her face. That I’ve stolen the light from her eyes. But this is how I prepare us. This is how I make sure thatifdanger comes looking for her, she’s ready and able to defend herself. Because if I’m to step in front of her, and she’s determined to step in front of me, I need to know we’re both ready for whatever is coming.
Or die trying.
“They specialize in women’s self-defense training over there, so I wanna get you in, teach you a few moves.” I chew on the inside of my cheek and ignore the garlic I’m supposed to chop. “You’re afraid, Rose. And your brain is kicking your ass when you’re supposed to be asleep. It would make me feel a hell of a lot better if you knew how to defend yourself. Just in case. And maybe it’ll make your brain feel better too, which might make the nightmares go away.”
“And you…” Her brows furrow heavily over her eyes. “You wouldn’t consider letting me watch a fight movie on the television, right? Watching things has proven quite helpful to me today.”
“Watch as many movies as you like, but this is one of those things you need to learn by doing. But I could put you in with women only, if that would make you feel more comfortable. I could talk to Tommy and Chris and have them shut the whole damn place down to everyone except chicks if that’s what you need.”
“W-would you stay? For the classes. Or would you leave?”
“I can stay and watch if you want. Or I could leave, if watching you makes you feel weird.”
“I would want you to stay. Please.” But then she gasps, blushing bright red. “Or not.”
“What?” I set the knife down and press my hip against the counter. “What did you just think inside your head?”
“That maybe you need some time alone. Handing me off to someone else for the evening, but you don’t want to say so because you think it’ll hurt my feelings.”
I hook my hand in her hoodie pocket and drag her closer. “If I wanted alone time, I’d tell you. I’m trying to help you. Not get rid of you.”
“M-maybe you have a date or something. Dara… she, um…” She gulps and looks to the phone on the wall; the one Ineveruse. “She left a message today.”
“What?”
“I didn’t mean to listen to it, but when no one picked up, it went to voicemail. She mentioned being sad that your last date didn’t work out, but that she really wants to talk to you. She said she was on night shift tonight, but that she’d look for you at the hospital and hopefully catch you before you left.”
“She did. She caught me.”
“Oh.” She drops her gaze, her hair falling forward to shield her from me. “Well, I’m glad she did. She sounds nice.”
Sighing, I place my fingers under her chin and tilt her head back until I can see her eyes. “I’m not handing you over to my friends so I can have an evening with someone else. I want to help you find your strength, because someday, eventually, you’ll grow tired of this setup. Whether your memories come back or not, your past may find you. I need to know you’re gonna be okay when that happens. If youdon’twant me at the gym because you feel weird about me watching, then I’ll make myself scarce. I trust my friends to take care of you. If youdowant me there, then that’s where I’ll be. If you smack a Watkins twin in the face, I’ll high-five you on the way out.”
“But…” She breathes out a shuddering breath. “Self-defense implies working with a partner, right? Like, lots of interaction with someone else?”
“Right. But I could get you a girl partner, easy peasy. It wouldn’t be a problem?—”
“C-couldyoujoin the class? So I don’t have to…” She trails off. “So I don’t?—”
Need to let anyone else touch me.
I gift her a smile, releasing her from the prison she’s walked herself into, then I bring my hand up and rub my jaw. “I’ll stay. I’ll even let you getonegood shot in before I guard up. But only one. ‘Cos I’m sick of being punched in the face all the damn time.”
She trembles, her eyes shimmering with unshed emotion. “Y-you don’t mind, right? Because if you need a night off or whatever?—”
“I don’t mind.” But I whip the list from her pocket and turn back to keep working on the garlic. “This is going in the trash, by the way.”
