“That’s why I’m calling! I know it’s inappropriate. I know it’s wrong. Fuck, Lize, professional repercussions aside, I know sheshouldbe in a facility with doctors and shrinks and other women to socialize with. Sending her to Barlespy is the right thing to do, but I told her tonight. I told her about the place and talked about all the exciting things she could do there. And she just…” I draw a deep breath. ”She?—”
“She what?” Chris demands.
“She cried,” I groan. “She was fucking devastated.”
“She’s asking to come to yours?” Alana’s eyes narrow to suspicious slits. “Is she trying to convince you to?—”
“No. She never mentioned my house.Inever mentioned my house. No one did. But while I sat there, forcing myself to tell her all the fun things she would experience at the group home, she cried. It wasn’t the big, sobbing, weeping manipulation some use to get their own way. It was soft and sweet and so fucking sad, I wanted to tear my heart out of my chest and toss it in front of a train. She didn’t say no. She didn’t try to negotiate longer at the hospital. She asked questions, and I answered them as best Icould. She asked whatIthought was right, and I answered, objectively, that The Wallflower was where she needed to be.”
“So what’s the friggin’ problem?” Eliza snaps. “She’s refusing to go?”
“No! She’s accepted this. Because I said she should.” I drag my hand up and into my hair, tugging the locks until I feel something other than the ache in my soul. “She trusts me, Lize. Whatever I say goes. But goddamn it, she’ll do it with a broken heart.”
“And now you feel bad,” Tommy concludes, rolling his lip between his teeth and reading me as easily as one reads a book. “For your own reasons, you don’t want to send her away. And she doesn’t want to go, but will, because you told her to. Ultimately, you want us to talk you out of doing something monumentally insane?—”
“Like inviting her into your home,” Fox finishes. “Professionally, it would be wrong. Personally, it would be wrong.”
“Don’t do it, Ol.” Eliza drops into a crouch in front of the kitchen cabinet, her elbows on the counter and her hands clasped together. “Don’t put yourself in this position. It’s career suicide, and that doesn’t even take into account the damage it would do to your heart. She’s a patient, aprettypatient, and you’re the world’s nicest guy, but this isn’t your responsibility.”
“This has nothing to do with her being pretty, Eliza. It’s not?—”
“But you admit you think she’s pretty?” She firms her lips, uncharacteristically glum. “What’s the long game here, Ollie? Rehabilitate her and send her on her way?”
“Well, no, I?—”
“Care for her for a month? Six months? A year?”
“No, it’s?—”
“You delay the inevitable,” Alana inserts. “Whether she goes tomorrow or next year, she has a life she needs to get on with. If the conclusion is forgone, then it makes no sense to stall longer than necessary.”
“Trading tomorrow’s tears for a smile, only to hand her those same tears in a month, or a year, or whenever, isn’t mercy,” Fox presses. “It’s cruel.”
“This is good.” I tilt my head forward, closing my eyes in the dark. Laying my arm across the steering wheel, I rest my forehead on top and exhale. “These are the things I needed to hear.”
“There’s nothing wrong with sending her to this place and following up with her medical team,” Tommy explains. “Professionally, you could totally justify asking for updates. And if someone comes to claim her, youknowBilly will still keep you in the loop.”
“And when she eventually remembers who she is, you’ll both be glad you kept this strictly professional,” Chris rumbles. “She could be married,Ollie. She could be a mom. Maybe her husband is out there searching for her, tearing cities apart, trying to figure out where the hell she went. It would be way too easy to forget this isn’t the real her. This beautiful, scared woman, whose namemightbe Rose, isn’t necessarily who she really is. And maybe you like Rose, and she likes you, because you’re safe and kind and comforting, but when it all shakes out and she remembers her past, having this messy Plainview stuff with you will make moving on so much harder.”
“You’re assuming this is romance.” I push off my arm and glare at the lot of them. “No one is mentioning beautiful except you guys. Or pretty,” I look to Eliza. “That’s onyou. I’m talking about a scared woman who needs a friend, now more than ever. I’m saying I can’t bear to make her deal with all this on her own, and you’re talking about her husband and kids and romance and?—”
“So it’snotromantic?” Fox questions. “Not at all?”
“No! It’s?—”
“Not even a little bit?” Alana insists. “If she leaves tomorrow, guaranteed to have all her professional needs met, would you be able to walk away? No looking back, no checking in, no need, since she’s completely covered.”
“Well, I?—”
“It’s a yes or no, Ollie!” Eliza snaps. “You let that kid with the busted leg go home. I bet you haven’t given him a second thought. Last month, that couple slid off the road and totaled their car. Female vic even ended up with a concussion and a shiny goose egg on her forehead. Bet you haven’t thought about her since.”
“Eliza…”
“This isn’t entirely medical! It’s more, and your inability to own it is exactly why she should go. This is already messy.”
“I’m allowed to care, Eliza! I’m allowed to think she’s kinda funny and smart, and when she’s wearing jeans, I’m allowed to think,hey, they look kinda good on her. I’m allowed to feel something when she’s looking into my eyes, begging me to keep her safe.” I swing my eyes to Alana. “I worried about Bitsy, even when she wasn’t in my hospital. I thought about her when?—”
“You worried about herbecauseof me. Because even if you hated my guts, you knew I deserved to know she was dying.”
