ME - 9:05am
I’ll keep you updated if he calls me. But I’ve got my fingers crossed Cliff is just on his period, and this was a weird hormonal spike.
ROSE - 9:06am
Ha! Fingers crossed. We’re pulling up at the office now, so I’ll let you get back to work. Be safe. Don’t fall in love with any beautiful women Barbara might run down today.
ME - 9:07am
There’s only one beautiful victim of Barbara’s I wanna keep. I toss the rest to Dawes. Love you, Rosaline. See you in eight hours, fifty-two minutes, and twenty-three seconds.
Not that I’m toxically attached or anything.
That would be weird. And toxic.
ROSE - 9:08am
Exactly how I like you.
ROUND FORTY-FOUR
ROSE
Watching the clock is an exercise in insanity.
Being watched by Cliff only makes my trip to the asylum worse. Faster. Scarier.
And jumping every time the door opens downstairs, the bell above jingling to the same frantic beat as my heart, is what’ll be the end of me, I’m certain of it.
“I know you’re my boss and I kind of depend on keeping my job, but I swear to God, if you don’t stop side-eyeing me, Clifford, I’m gonna head straight on over to the pound and adopt a giant, starving, aggressive attack dog and let him have his way with you.” I slam the filing cabinet closed and turn just in time to catch him spinning back around in his chair. “You’re not sneaky, ya know!”
“I have no clue what you’re talking about.” He sets Poppy on his desk and slides off his chair, onto his knees on the floor, until the tip of his nose touches the tip of hers. “I’m just spending my time with Poopy over here.”
“Her name is Poppy! And you had that weird vibe from that guy yesterday and snitched to Ollie. Now he’s feeling weird vibes, which meansI’mfeeling weird vibes. And really, it’s just…” I run my fingers through my hair and groan. “It’s unnecessary. All of it.”
He sets his arms on his desk and peeks over his shoulder at me, his eyes dim with regret. “I didn’t mean to cause a fuss, I swear. I especially didn’t mean to upset you. I just felt a certain way and wanted to run it by Ollie.”
“If it were something, my phone would’ve rung by now. Which meansit’s not something. It’s nothing. It’s just a guy who was looking for a contractor, and a contractor who worries a little too much because he’s nice and kind and a really awesome boss.” I exhale a noisy, heavy breath that shrinks my chest. “I appreciate your concern. Really, I do. But Jesus, it’s like you drove a big ass truck over to Ollie’s place and dumped a stinking pile of manure on his living room floor. Except the pile isn’t manure. It’s anxiety. It’s a fear of walking in front of the windows. It’s nerves every time the phone makes a sound.”
My phone trills on my desk, vibrating against the hardwood and driving home how utterly cruel and devious the universe’s timing truly is. Stuck where I am, I gulp and stare across at the flashing device. My hands shake. My knees knock. My vision turns blurry, but I slide it across to Cliff and whimper.
“I’ve got it.” He surges to his feet and stalks across the office, standing over the phone without touching, his neck folded and his eyes focused on the screen. But then I catch the twitch and sway of his Adam’s apple. His lips folding in that way we do when we want to moisten them.
Worse, his eyes come back to me.
And I know. God, I know.
“It’s Billy,” he rasps, picking up the device and swiping to answer. He doesn’t place the call on speaker, which is a kindness, really. Instead, he brings it to his ear and rumbles, “This is Rose’s phone. Cliff speaking.” And then he listens. And nods. Answers withyesandnowhen it’s appropriate. “I’ll let her know. Yeah.” He nods and meets my eyes. So sad. So sorry. “Yeah. As soon as I can. You’ll call Ollie?”
“Oh God.” My feet come unstuck, so I stride all the way to the top of the stairs, shaking my head and dragging my fingers through my hair. Then I turn back again and inhale a crackling, aching breath. “Just say I ran away. Tell them I left Plainview weeks ago and you don’t know where I am anymore.”
He ends the call and perches on the edge of my desk, his gentle stare enough to undo me. To break me. To hurt me, far more than if he were angry. Or laughing. Or literally any emotion besides the one he’s currently wearing.
“I don’t remember him.” I stride back to his desk and snatch up Poppy, hugging her to my chest like she’s more than just a small ball of fur. She’s my shield. She’s my safety. “I don’t remember him or where I came from or how I got here. But I remember accepting thatthisis my life now. My happy life with Ollie. And with you. And Eliza and the twins and Franky and Alana and?—”
“You are not a child, Rose.” He moves across and stops in front of me. Crowding me into stillness. “You are not mentally incapable. You do nothave to do anything you don’t want to do. Ever. And that includes going with someone who did or did not know you in the past.”
“I don’t want to.” Fat tears swell and swim in my eyes. “I don’t want to leave.”
