It hits me that my mom would only defend me to protect her image, not because she cares about me. I’m a reflection of her, so if I do something wrong, it’s someone else’s fault. Jamal’s family cares about people. My family cares about respect.
“Maybe I want people to like me too,” I blurt out. I don’t want to be anything like my family.
“When people know you like I do, they will love you.” He drags his finger over my scrunched brow, trying to smooth it out.
I could easily tell him this is too much and leave; he’d let me go. But for once, I want to stay and stop fighting. Believe in him. Believe in us.
“Okay,” I agree, and he kisses the breath out of me.
Chapter 37
Jamal King
Theo and I duck out of the side door of the hotel and into the waiting black SUV. Finn’s in the back.
“Great news, my little chocolate chips,” he says as soon as the door shuts.
“Are you constantly hungry? You’re always calling us food.” Theo scoots closer to me.
“I’m chocolate-deprived. My BFF left me for Patrik Liska and took the good stuff with him. But you don’t care about that.” Finn waves his hand as if we understand what he’s saying.
“Anyhoo, you two.” He beams at us. “The podcast broke records, and it’s blowing up online. Every time I check, the number of reposts is up by thousands. And I spent the day fielding offers for interviews from major news outlets. Everything from Hello America to EN, Entertainment News. Exciting!” He pauses. “What’s with the faces?” His finger circles in front of us.
“We’ve got a game tonight and are going to focus on hockey,” I say to protect Theo from being subjected to the media.
“I understand my little lambs.” He raises an eyebrow at Theo as if to say “See, I can use non-food words.” He taps both our knees. “But the beast must be fed, and if you don’t feed it, it’ll stalk you until you do.” He throws his hands up. “Fine. I use a lot of food analogies.”
“It’s so much, so fast,” Theo says quietly.
“I know.” He gives us sympathetic glances. “But we can negotiate the type of questions with a reputable news outlet. The pressroom is a free-for-all, and the internet is the Wild West. I’ve emailed you the offers, so think about them and let me know.”
The SUV pulls up to the loading dock of the arena, and Finn slips us in unnoticed. We need hockey to focus on. Every time I tell Theo I love him, he looks like I’ve punched him. I asked my dad’s advice, and he said to give Theo space to believe me. And most importantly, keep showing up because actions speak louder than words.
I asked Dad about people saying I’m selling out by being with Theo, a rich white guy. Dad reminded me I’m a rich Black man, and if I date someone poor, they’ll be portrayed as a gold digger. If I date another rich Black man, haters will find another reason to tear us down. The only way to combat them is by being true to ourselves.
Whenever I leave the room, Theo acts like he’ll never see me again. I have to wonder if he has unresolved trauma from his dad’s death. I’m holding his hand on our way to the locker room, giving him the reassurance that I mean what I say.
“Hey, my favorite hockey couple, we need a plan,” Brant says as we walk in.
“I resent that,” Ace teases.
“Me too,” Benz chimes in.
“I miss being half of a couple.” Mav plops onto the bench.
“Sorry, fellas, King is my fake ex-BF and Keefer is my liney. They win.” Brant motions us over. “I’ve been thinking, I’m on the ice with Mr. Overprotective the most. So if someone goes after him, I’ll take care of it unless you’re on the ice and want to do it.” He says the last part to me.
Do I want to fight? I’ve never considered it before, but all the comments online are about Theo and me as a couple, and that’s why I dropped my gloves for the first time. The narrative isn’t about an angry Black man fighting.
“We don’t want too many penalties if the refs get upset,” Brant explains when I don’t say anything.
“Thanks, man, great plan.” I fist-bump Brant. This isn’t about me, it’s about Theo.
“No, not happening.” Theo grips my forearm. “You aren’t changing for the worse because of me.”
“It’s not for the worse to protect my boyfriend. I never had anyone specifically to stand up for.” I clasp his arm like we’re making a pact. “This is for me too. I’m showing the hockey world that I fight for what’s mine.”
Theo swallows hard and squeezes my arm.
