It gave him a feeling of kinship that he’d never felt before.
“Thank you,” he said softly.
Tor kissed him again, warm and sweet, and Pel really liked it—even though he was aware there was probably something Tor would rather be doing.
When he drew back, he said, “Sorry I slowed this down so much.”
“Don’t you dare apologize,” Tor told him, blue eyes flashing. “No part of this is enjoyable unless it’s enjoyable for both of us, and I assure you, thisis.”
“I feel like I don’t know anything.”
The confusion and uncertainty were definitely not feelings Pel liked.
“That’s what practice is for,” Tor pointed out with a grin. “In fact, it’s something I would be more than happy to provide.”
Pel couldn’t help but smile at the other man’s eyebrow waggling, but he admitted quietly, “It’s embarrassing.”
“We all had to start somewhere,” Tor said easily.
Huffing, Pel argued, “But most people started years ago.”
“But there isn’t an age requirement. And—would you like me to be perfectly honest?” Tor asked.
Pel braced himself, saying, “Yes,” even as he wondered if he did.
Tor’s gaze was intent on his face. “The notion of being your first is extremely alluring.”
Pel’s eyebrow rose. “Is it? Really?”
Tor nodded, his eyes glittering with something that Pel was pretty sure washunger. “The idea that no one else has gotten to touch you before? That I’m going to be the first person to make you feel the most incredible pleasure of your life?Soalluring.”
Pel could feel his cheeks heating again, but he made himself raise an eyebrow. “Most incredible pleasure, huh? I’ll have you know that Idoknow what my cock is for, and I’ve had plenty of experience giving myself pleasure.”
“But I’ll be so much better. Of course,” Tor said so pompously that Pel couldn’t help but laugh with delight and lean into the man, resting his head on Tor’s shoulder. Tor’s arms snaked around him, holding him close.
Chapter Nineteen
Pel
Whispering against Tor’s chest, Pel confessed, “You don’t know what it feels like to be unwanted so much of the time.”
Tor’s arms tightened around him.
“You’re right,” Tor admitted, voice a low rumble. “I guess you could say I have the opposite problem. I’m always going to be the Extraordinary High Prince. That’s so much privilege—I know it is—but just occasionally, I’d like to be wanted just as Tor.”
Pel had never thought of it that way. One magical designation came with a lot more accolades and privileges than the other, but both often had people looking at the status and not the person.
They were so different in so many ways, but Tor had still found a way to relate to what Pel was saying.
“It’s been very lonely,” Pel admitted. “Especially the last few years.”
“Did you consider finding someone?” Tor asked, sounding curious but non-judgmental.
“Occasionally,” Pel admitted, still embarrassed but also sort of relieved to just be able to talk about this. “I didn’t want to take someone to bed like it was a task to be completed. I was fully aware of the number of people who went after Bavil and Larexa, and equally aware of the fact that no one noticed me. I mean,no one. You assumed I was a stable hand, and you aren’t the only person whose eyes have passed right over me.”
Tor’s face twisted with distress. “I’m genuinely sorry about that. I would like to point out that it reflects far more poorly on me than it does on you.”
Pel shook his head, feeling a twinge of guilt. Tor had made a mistake, and he’d apologized. There was nothing worse than someone harping on about a mistake.
