He still wasn’t looking at Pel, and he realized that although he’d come to like and admire him a lot more than before, he still hadn’t seen him as a regular person.
Yes, Torex had a lot of privilege. And with it came a lot of responsibility. He’d made poor choices, and he’d also paid for them. He’d brought some of it on himself, and the deaths of those guards could never be undone, but who among them was completely blameless?
Failing to take responsibility for your actions was one of Pel’s least favorite traits. Forex liked to act as though Gornexi was behaving completely unreasonably when they cut ties almost completely from Tond. Bavil bore plenty of the responsibility—but Forex had also passed along a lot of his behavior to his son, a fact which he never acknowledged.
The deaths of twelve people was no small matter—but it wasn’t like Torex had killed them himself. They’d known the law. They could have refused. That might have had consequences, of course, but it was still a choice. Pel couldn’t imagine Prince Torex—a sober Prince Torex, anyway—disciplining them harshly.
It was like the end of the war. Their rulers had made some terrible decisions and choices, but if they didn’t forgive them—or at least accept them—how would they everhave peace?
Pel wasn’t entirely sure how he felt, but he knew he wasn’t ready to give up on Torex. And the High King hadn’t thrown Torex in the dungeon. He had a troop that he was still in charge of. He talked about them sometimes, and he never sounded more affectionate than when he spoke about them, unless he was talking about his best friend, Sir Rinil, or Princess Adexa.
He clearly adored his sister and didn’t think he got to see her often enough. If he bonded, he might well have to move. Where would Torex go if he wasn’t in Alossa? Princesses Terila and Marwila seemed the most likely options. Vayrin was closer to Alossa, and Pel could only imagine that she would be as delighted by an Extraordinary High Prince as she had been horrified by an Unremarkable one. Marwila seemed like the better option, but it would be further away from Adexa in Lotar.
And instead of either of those options, Torex had come all the way to Tond… to take a break? He’d said he didn’t have any responsibility anymore, but that wasn’t the same as actually resting and recovering from the trauma of what had happened. Maybe he’d needed to get out of sight of his brother and everyone who might judge him.
Only he’d told Pel what had happened.
It gave Pel so much to think about that they were back at the stables before he knew it. They’d taken longer than they usually did, and it meant they were going to have to hustle to attend afternoon training.
“You go ahead,” Torex told him, already turning towards the horses. “I’d like to groom Melody.”
He wasdefinitelygoing to be late if he did that, but after what he’d just shared, maybe he was looking forward to some time alone. Pel had been guilty of using his horse as an excuse more than once.
He was thus unsurprised that Torex didn’t appear, though there was a faint air of disappointment from the guards. It was going to be an adjustment when they didn’t have the High Prince in their midst anymore. And he’d have to leave. If the High King didn’t know where he was, the situation was untenable in the long-term.
But coming to Tond and being well out of the way of the other realms bought Torex some time, and perhaps that was all he wanted. Pel often felt like he was being judged, but there simply weren’t that many people interested in him. Extraordinary High Prince—and handsome, to boot—was a much loftier position.
Pel had always thought that the best thing that could have happened was that he would wake up one day and suddenly be Extraordinary. Yes, he told himself that itshouldn’t be necessary, that he still had value without all that magic, but that didn’t mean there wasn’t that core part of him that was sure such… elevation would solve all of his problems, that he would berecognizedas having value if only he also had the strong magic ability as well.
For the first time, thinking about Torex trapped in a web of expectations and assumptions and regret, Pel… was no longer certain.
To Pel’s surprise, Torex wasn’t at dinner that night, either, and a servant brought his regrets and the news that he was a little under the weather.
“Weak Southerners,” Forex scoffed, and went back to his wine.
Dinner passed more quickly without the High Prince to entertain or impress, and it was with relief that Pel was able to get away.
It wasn’t until the next morning when he waited at the stables for an extra half hour that he realized something was wrong. Torex wasn’t coming. He sent someone running to check, and they returned with the news that the Prince didn’t feel like going today, and Prince Pelun could just go on his own, which was what he wanted anyway, wasn’t it?
That had clearly come directly from Torex rather than the awkward-looking servant.
Pel frowned at the man before it hit him. “Has he been drinking?”
The servant cleared his throat and didn’t meet Pel’s eyes. “I couldn’t say, Your Highness.”
Yes, then.
After yesterday’s revelation, perhaps it made sense that Torex had fallen back on his crutch, but that didn’t mean Pel had to like it.
He told the stable hands that he would be out for a ride later so that Extraordinary wouldn’t be too disappointed.
Pel hadn’t realized how much more comfortable he was with someone who wasn’t drinking until he headed up to the royal suite, not knowing how much Torex had consumed or what kind of a drunk he was. Forex got louder, more belligerent, and sometimes mean.
But Pel couldn’t leave Torex there on his own. He tapped on the sitting room door, and when there was no answer, he popped his head in, ascertained that it was empty, and headed for the bedroom, where he knocked louder.
He heard what sounded like a curse, though it was muffled, and then a growled, “Come in!”
Pel opened the door and stepped inside. The room was dark, with the curtains pulled and the fire as the only light.
