The amusement was obvious in Tor’s voice, “No, I got that about you. If there’s one thing I’m certain of, it’s that you’re not using me for my position.”
Pel huffed in disgust, and Tor laughed and craned his neck so that he could kiss Pel, all warmth and affection.
Pel really wasn’t sure how Tor did that. He’d been so wrong about him in so many ways. He’d seen only arrogance and heavy-handed charm, and he’d had no idea just how much tenderness and kindness was lurking inside the man.
Tor settled back against him, wrapping an arm around him and snuggling.
“We’re going to figure this out,” Tor told him. “We’ll see what we like, and we’ll try things together. Sometimes, we’ll get things wrong. Sometimes, we’ll have to compromise. And sometimes, things will be absolutely perfect. We’ll figure out what makes us happy.”
“That sounds perfect,” Pel agreed.
It sounded like more than he’d ever imagined.
He yawned, and Tor pressed a kiss to the side of his head. Pel wasn’t scared anymore. Everything felt warm and comfortable andpossible, like Tor had said about Tendrilling.
“I’ll try not to kick you,” Pel mumbled.
“It will be fine,” Tor told him.
And despite all the times in his life that had taught him differently, Pel believed him.
Chapter Twenty
Tor
It would be an exaggeration to say that everything had changed when Tor woke up. That was, no doubt, him being dramatic. But itfeltlike everything had changed. Because once they’d talked out Pel’s nerves, the man had gone right to sleep curled up in Tor’s arms. And Tor had stayed awake for a while, staring down at the precious man, and admitted all the things that he’d been denying, probably since he’d confessed about the death of the guards up in the mountain.
HewantedPel. And not just for sex, although he was excited about that, whenever it happened. He’d hated when Pel was upset with him, had wanted nothing more than to make him feel better, and he… he’d beenactuallycourting Pel for a lot longer than he’d realized.
Andnotbecause of his foolish plan that would never have worked on his brother anyway.
No, it was because it was suddenly impossible to imagine Tor’s life without Pel in it.
Tor had never wanted to court or bond with someone, and he was suddenly thinking about both.
It was early days, of course. They hadn’t even Tendrilled yet, so he shouldn’t be considering bonding, not given what had happened between him and Terila or what hethought had happened to Ada and Thurnil. But Tor knew down to his bones that he and Pel would be compatible. He couldn’t envision a world where they wouldn’t be.
It clearly wasn’t going to be easy, as everything they’d done so far had attested. But he’d taken the easy way out too often in his life, or had things come to him too easily. Working for everything he had with Pel had sometimes been endlessly frustrating, but goddess, it was sweet, too.
He was working on a new plan now, one that involved happiness for Torandfor Pel. Because somehow, they’d become linked. When Pel was unhappy, so was Tor, and he was pretty sure it worked the other way, too. They clearly needed to keep working on their communication, but they’d achieved a lot as well.
Because here Pel was, in Tor’s bed. They’d both admitted how much they wanted one another.
“What’s that smile for?”
The scratchy, sleep-rough voice was enough to make Tor’s smile deepen as he popped his eyes open and saw that Pel was looking at him with sleepy curiosity. They’d shifted in their sleep and were now facing one another.
“I was just thinking how nice it was that we want to have sex as well as be friends. In general, I mean,” he hastened to add in case Pel thought he meant right this moment.
Pel’s face tipped up into a grin that was still a little sleep-rumpled around the corners.
“Thatisnice. You don’t know how frustrating it was to want you and to keep hearing about you having sex with a whole bunch of other people.”
“Uh, I agree that doesn’t sound particularly pleasant.” Cautiously, Tor clarified, “It just… it wasn’ta whole bunch.”
Pel shot him a withering look, all the more hilarious for his otherwise not-put-together appearance. “It was a lot more sex thanIwas having.”
Tor definitely couldn’t argue with that, but he hastened to add, “It was just sex, though. Something to pass the time. It was never meant to be more than that. I… am looking for more with you.”
