Pel groaned. “But if you go first, then I’ll look even worse following you.”
“You can go first if you want,” Tor offered immediately. “Whatever makes you most comfortable.”
Pel liked the way Tor had suggestions but ultimately left the choice up to Pel. Thinking about it, he really couldn’t imagine going after Tor. He knew which of them was going to be skilled at this.
“I’d rather go first. I mean, be the one… to you,” Pel said awkwardly, feeling his face heating again.
Tor flashed him a grin. “I’m definitely not going to say no to that.”
The reality of the fact that Pel had just agreed to use his mouth on Tor resounded in Pel’s mind, and he must have looked as terrified as he suddenly felt, because Tor’s hands tightened on his hips for a moment, and then they moved to gently cup his face and pull him in for a kiss.
Pel had never expected that kisses from Tor could be so reassuring, but they really were. And even though the hot, feverish kisses were amazing, he really liked the gentle ones, too.
“Hey,” Tor said softly when he drew back. “It’s all about what pleases us, remember? We don’t have to do anything right now.”
“But if we don’t do it now, then when?” Pel asked petulantly.
“Later tonight? Tomorrow? Next week?” Tor suggested with a hint of a smile. “There aren’t actually any rules or a schedule that we have to follow.”
Pel sagged against the man. “I didn’t think this was going to be so difficult. I don’t mean to make it awkward. I know it’s not what you’re used to.”
Tor just smiled at him. “You came after me when I thought I’d ruined everything. I promise that this is going to be the best night for me even if all we do now is go to sleep.”
Pel blew out a breath, trying to release some of his tension. He didn’twantto be anxious about this, but it would be useless to try to claim he wasn’t. He sucked in a breath, and then he mumbled, “Couldwe sleep together?”
Tor looked at him curiously, and Pel felt yet another blush heat his cheeks. “In the bed? Just… sleep?”
It sounded even more ridiculous when he repeated the request, and he immediately wanted to take it back. Why did he always have to—
But then Tor leaned in and kissed him, the warm touch cutting off all his worry before Tor drew back and smiled.
“We can definitely sleep together. I’d like that very much.” He eyed Pel before he admitted, “I might have spent a lot of time in bed here thinking about you being in it with me.”
Pel sucked in a sharp breath. “Did you really?”
Tor nodded, a reminiscent smile on his lips. “Especially after that kiss. Everything I wanted—and everything I thought I couldn’t have.”
Pel leaned in and rested his forehead against the other man’s. “How could I not want to have everything to do with you?”
This made Tor smile, and then he rose to his feet, bringing Pel with him, clutching desperately at him and shrieking, scrambling to get his feet firmly planted on the ground once more.
Tor pouted. “I wanted to carry you to the bed.”
That presented… interesting possibilities for the future, but—
“I am perfectly capable of walking,” Pel told him primly.
Tor grinned at him. “Of course you are. Come on, then.”
They made their way into the bedroom, and Tor lit a handful of the crystals even as the ones in the sitting room went dark, leaving the room bathed in a soft light. Pel tried not to think about the fact that he’d never climbed into someone else’s bed before, not since he’d been a child, anyway.
He had a faint memory of crawling into his father’s bed in the middle of the night after a nightmare when he was little. His father had let him curl up and had assured him that there were no monsters coming after him, and even if they did, he would protect Pel. Pel had fallen right back to sleep, sure in the knowledge of his father’s protection. It had never been quite the same after their mother died, and it had been worse still once Pel Manifested, but just occasionally, Pel remembered the happy moments.
Right now, he missed the certainty of the young boy he’d been; it hadn’t occurred to him yet to question his welcome. Rather than overthinking, he’d just acted. He needed to act now, but it all felt weirdly uncomfortable.
“Do you remember learning to use the bow and arrow?” Tor asked.
Pel, who had been staring rather fixedly at the bed, turned to look at the other man, who was no longer wearing a tunic, and Pel’s mind briefly froze. But then he realized that Tor was holding a nightshirt, which he pulled on, and Pel could think again, even as he reminded himself that he’d seen Tor bare-chested before.
