I shut and lock the door behind us, not wanting to be interrupted by anyone. Guiding her over to the couch on the back wall of the room, I take a seat, pulling her to sit on my lap.
“God, I’ve missed you so fucking much,” I whisper, pressing a soft kiss against her shoulder.
Goose bumps spread over her skin sending shivers through her. I love how her body still seems to respond to my touch.
“I have so much I want to say, but I want to sit here with you. I want to forget all the problems we’ve had between us. As much as I know we need to talk about them, I also don’t want to drudge it all up again.”
“Well, we can’t pretend like it didn’t happen.” Her words come out bitter, anger seeping into her tone.
“Of course not, but aren’t I allowed to want to be around you for a few minutes before I have to see the hurt in your eyes knowing I’m the one who put it there? Fuck, Ivy. Do you seriously think this has been easy for me? Do you really believe this is what I want?”
“Actually, yes, I do. Did anyone hold a gun to your head? Were you forced to make a bet with Tysin with the end goal of breaking my heart?”
“No…”
“Then what makes you think I’m going to believe you? Is this some part of your prank still? To pull me in here, show me some sad, puppy dog looks in your eyes in hopes I’ll forgive you and you can get back at me? Make me pay for being the one who gave you a dose of your own medicine?”
She pushes my hands away from her as she moves to stand.
“What? No, Ivy. Dammit, I can explain. Just give me a chance to explain.”
Standing, she crosses her arms in front of her. I want to lean forward, wrap my fingers in hers, and pull her back to me. Tell her to give me a chance, and I will, but before I start, I want her in my arms again.
There’s a time to give her space and a time to push her further, pull her closer to me even if she says it’s not what she wants. This isn’t one of those times.
She wants her space, and the last thing I want is to piss her off even more than I already have.
I take my hat off, tossing it to the side somewhere so I can see her better.
Taking a heavy breath, I begin, “It started the night you started working at Whiskey Barrel. Tysin was giving me shit about you turning me down.”
Her eyes narrow as she rocks back and forth on her heels, waiting for me to continue.
“Ivy… fuck. Will you promise me no matter what I say that you’ll stay here and let me explain?”
She keeps clenching her hands into fists, before ringing them out as she bites her lip. I hate thinking about the pain this is causing her.
“Please. Just promise me.”
“I promise, Brix. Now tell me already.”
There’s an urgency, frustration in her voice. It’s different than how she’s ever talked to me before, and I hate that I’m the cause of it right now.
“Anyway…” I lean forward, rubbing my fingers over my forehead, massaging them into my skin.
“Tysin was starting shit with me after the show ended, and I said something about if the girls were single, to hit me up or whatever. I knew you were there, that you were listening. I shouldn’t have let him bother me, but I did.
“He kept razzing me about how you rejected me, saying I cared more than I wanted to believe. He wasn’t wrong, but things with us, in the beginning, had been so volatile, I wasn’t about to admit it.
“He kept talking about what you think of me, and I don’t know, I just snapped. I told him I could get you to change your mind. That I’d have you eating out of the palm of my hand by the end of the summer.”
I pause, staring at the floor and Ivy’s feet as she paces from side to side in her high heels. I’m stalling while I muster up the courage to tell her the last of it, but I don’t even know how. This could ruin every chance we may have to get back together. But if she finds out I’m lying now, it’ll be hell to pay when she learns the truth.
“I told him I hated you, just like I had back then. That I’d fuck you, then I’d send you back to school heartbroken.”
My voice cracks as I utter the last words. Tears fill to the brim of her eyes as she closes them. Her mouth falls open, trying to slow her breathing. I tell myself it’s going to be okay, but in the back of my mind, I wonder if she’s preparing herself to leave. If the reason why she closed her eyes is because she can’t bear the sight of me.
The tears that once filled her eyes, now stream down her beautiful face. I’m fighting against myself to sit here and wait, but all I want to do is pull her into my arms and hold her.
