“You asked me a question.”
“And your answer is wrong.” Colette folded her arms across her chest. “Now listen. Not only did I hear all the sweet nothings you whispered to him, I watched you fawn over him at lunch. Whilehewas eating,youwere feasting on his lips, his hair, his eyes, and blushing every time he laughed.” She shook her head. “Mon dieu, it was disgusting.”
While I glared, Colette’s expression softened. Turning, she dropped onto the couch beside me and reached for my hand.
“Lucas…” Her gaze was so beseeching I couldn’t avoid it. “You’ve sabotaged your own happiness.”
I’d seen a different reality on yesterday’s stroll down the Strip. I’d pictured Zephyr as a fixture in my life, a constant presence. Like the street performer said: people like Zephyr made magic work better. Or maybe they had a little magic of their own, a gift they could give to people like me.
But I should’ve known better. That kind of light didn’t stick around. It blazed bright and hot and drew you in withthe promise of warmth, but it wasn’t meant to be contained. It couldn’t be kept, and I’d gotten burned trying.
“It can’t be happiness if it’s a lie,” I explained. “The other shoe was bound to drop. I may have been Zephyr’s first, but I won’t be his last. I certainly won’t be his only. Creatures like him?—”
Colette made a reproachful sound. “Do not call him that when you yourself are the least human being in this equation.”
“Menlike him,” I corrected, my voice flat, “will find someone else. I refuse to stand around waiting, wasting eternity on people who mean more to me than I mean to them.”
Colette scowled through the pause before muttering, “I know what you’re talking about, and it’s irrelevant.”
“Itisrelevant,” I argued.
“It’s sad,” Colette replied. “This is not that, and Zephyr is not Stefano. You are also not the same as you were a hundred years ago. And if you are, that’s sad too.”
I mirrored her frown as she continued.
“It’s called the past because it is meant to stay behind you.” She swung her arm toward the door as though Zephyr was still in the hall, waiting. For a moment, I wished he was. “That precious boy is within your grasp,” she said, then fanned her fingers in front of her face. “And don’t get me started on all the other places he’s been because I can smell him everywhere.”
“Just making the dicks kiss,” I replied dryly.
“You’rethe dick,” Colette fired back, then sighed. Shifting, she turned toward me. “I know you’re hurting; I know you feel deceived, but Lucas?” She waited until I met her eyes again to say, “It was an accident.”
“You believe that?”
Her head bobbed. “I do.And I think you do too.”
Ialmostdid. Zephyr hadn’t looked smug or guilty when I confronted him—just blindsided. Like he couldn’t figure out what he’d done wrong. His pretty eyes had gone all wide and wet, lower lip trembling like he’d break apart if I raised my voice again. And I had. I’d shouted and raged and made him listen to every word.
He hadn’t fought back. He’d only said it wasn’t true. That he didn’t know. And Iwantedto believe him. I’d been drawn to him in the first place because he didn’t wear deceit the way so many people did. He was genuine. Honest.
And I’d punished him anyway.
I’d sent him back to the Dollhouse. Back to Maslow.
My chest went tight. Whatever I’d done, Maz would do worse. He’d displayed enough cruelty in front of me that I couldn’t help but cringe at what might go on behind closed doors.
“I shouldn’t have sent him back there,” I said.
The confession felt revelatory, but Colette barely blinked.
“Non. You should not.”
“It’s worse than you know,” I continued. “Maz is using the Dollhouse dancers for their energy. That’s why Zephyr’s hungry all the time. Maz is feeding from him. From all of them. I don’t know for how long. Or why.”
Colette’s brow furrowed, and her fingers tightened around mine. “So, your incubus isfood? For the wraith?”
“Something like that.”
I braced for another slap, which would have been deserved. But this time it was the crack of Colette’s voice and not her palm that stung me.
