But what if I did?
“I didn’t mean to,” I said, protesting my sudden self-doubt. “It was my first time?—”
“First time?” Colette’s brown eyes went round as her attention bounced between me and the road ahead.
“I hadn’t been…” I balled up in my seat, tucking my knees under my chin and resting my head on top. “I was a virgin.”
The hellhound made a sound of equal parts intrigue and amusement. “A virgin incubus?” She looked to me for the confirmation I reluctantly gave, then her lips quirked. “I suppose everyone starts somewhere.”
I grunted in agreement, then wiped my soggy sleeve across my face. We traveled in silence a few moments until Colette gave a cry of surprise.
“Wait! That means Lucas was…” Her eyes stretched wider as her brows arched toward her hairline. We had stopped at a red light, where she turned toward me and gripped my shoulder. “Does he know this?”
The sight of her sympathy and the weight of my self-pity was too much to bear. Tears made my eyes ache with fresh heat, and I turned away. “No,” I mumbled.
Colette made another sound, this one almost mournful. “Oh, darling. You gave him a precious gift.”
I caught sight of my scowl in the passenger door window as I asked, “My poison?”
Colette shook her head. “Your innocence. Your… self.” The light changed, but she idled a moment more before declaring, “He cannot squander this. I won’t allow it.”
She jerked the wheel hard to the left, cutting through a gap in oncoming traffic to veer into a street-side parking space. We’d barely stopped when she shifted into reverse.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
Colette looked over her shoulder out the rear window as the limo began to roll. She cut the wheel, angling back the way we came.
“Taking you back,” she replied. “We will confront the idiot and make him understand. He’s stupid, but he’ll seereason when it’s right in front of him.” Her eyes found mine as she added, “And you,mon petit, are a very good reason.”
The idea of returning to that hotel room and being subjected to Beck’s ire again made me quake. I couldn’t endure seeing what I’d wanted to be a haven turned into a war zone. I wouldn’t bring more conflict into Beck’s home.
She’d returned both hands to the wheel, and I grabbed hold of one while being careful not to pull. “No, please.” My voice was tremulous. “I can’t face him. He’s right, I did. I was… using him.”
It felt harsh to describe it that way, but unfortunately accurate. Beckwasa food source for me. I craved him for reasons that weren’t entirely romantic, and he wouldn’t be wrong to resent that.
I was a parasite.
A predator.
And the Dollhouse was where I belonged.
“I don’t believe that,” Colette said as though she could hear the hateful words looping through my brain.
“Beck does,” I replied.
Pulling forward, she parked in the spot. Her fingers drummed across the leather-wrapped steering wheel before she heaved a sigh.
“Very well,” she said. “I won’t force you. But Lucas will answer for this. I’m sure he’s already full of regret, but he will be even more so when I’m through with him.”
I nodded, feeling numb as the limo lurched into motion once more. It reversed then turned toward the Dollhouse.
The last leg of our journey passed without discourse. We rolled into the lot outside the club and sat for a minute while the engine rumbled low.
When I didn’t hurry to climb out of the car, Coletteglanced over. I was wadded up as compact as I could get and hugging my arms around my knees. Feeling small.
“Are you sure you’re all right?” Colette asked, trading English for her earlier French. “We can go somewhere else for a while. Waste a bit of time.”
I wasn’t due back at the club for hours, and I wasn’t eager to face Maslow or explain the chain of events that led to me being dropped on his doorstep before breakfast. But practical concerns overrode my emotional wants.
