The look in his eyes made my skin tingle, as something dark and cruel slithered its way into them. I pushed him again when he didn’t answer, his silence only fueling my anger.
“Answer me!”
He grabbed me by the wrists as I pushed my hands into him, his grip tightening while I struggled to pull away. A low moan sounded from behind me, and I turned my head to see my father trying to stand. Niko released me and stepped forward, pressing him back down to the floor with his boot.
“Don’t move,” he growled as he pinned him down by the throat.
My father gasped, clawing at Niko’s leg, trying to get him to move, but that only made him bear down even more. I stepped forward, gazing down at the man I held so much anger for, the fear in his eyes sending a jolt of excitement straight to my stomach. I moved Niko’s foot and helped my father to sit up, his eyes darting between us.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
His lip trembled as he shook his head, tears falling down his swollen cheeks. I looked up at Niko, and his brows knitted with confusion.
“Get him some water,” I told Niko, his face turning up in a scowl.
When he didn’t move, I stood up, pressing my body against his.
“Now.”
He nodded and turned toward the kitchen, mumbling something incoherent under his breath.
When I looked down at my father, his eyes were locked onto me. I couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to see those eyes—my eyes—every day in someone else. To see them light up with every achievement, to see the pride in them as I graduated from college, got my first job, got married, and had children. Pain filled my chest, a deep longing tugging at me.
“Why did you leave?” I whispered.
He averted his gaze, staring at the fireplace beside him, the fire crackling and filling the room with warmth.
“Answer me. I deserve to know.”
He closed his eyes and let out a shuddering breath.
“Your mother had… problems,” he said, his voice shaking with every word. “I couldn’t deal with it anymore. I had to leave, to get away from her. Every day, I’d come home from work, and it was a fight.”
He looked up at me, his eyes glassy with tears, and reached his hand out. I slapped it away, and his face fell in defeat.
“So, because she had problems, you just abandoned me? Because I deserved that?”
“You have to understand, Lila! Nancy didn’t want to be a stepmother. If I wanted to keep her—”
“You had to give me up?” I said, cutting him off.
His face fell in shame, his cheeks flushing with embarrassment.
“I had always hoped to persuade her. Maybe even bring you to meet her, but she always refused. She said she wasn’t raising a child that she didn’t give birth to.”
I scoffed, the anger I felt sinking deeper into my bones. In my periphery, I saw Niko standing in the doorway with a glass of water in his hand. I ignored him, continuing the conversation.
“Do you know the shit I went through becauseyoudecided having some bitch by your side was more important than protecting your daughter?”
He stayed silent, refusing to look at me, so I crouched down and grabbed his chin, forcing him to meet my gaze.
“She blamedmefor you leaving. All that anger and pain she felt was taken out on me. While most kids were off having fun at sleepovers and making memories with their friends at summer camp, wanna know what I was doing?”
Tears welled in his eyes, and I huffed.
“I was taking care ofher. Cleaning her up when she came home so drunk she threw up all over herself, making sure she slept on her side or stomach so she didn’t choke on her own vomit, forcing her to get in the shower so she didn’t stink up the house. I was too busy being an adult to have fun or make memories. To enjoy my life.”
A sob tore from his chest, and a dark laugh escaped me.
