"A'Vanti, when you walk into a room, that man's entire body rotates toward you like he's a sunflower and you're the sun. L'Awai says his scent goes so sweet it makes him nauseous." She grins. "Soooo. Has anything happened? And do not give me that ice queen face. It doesn't work on me anymore."
I consider lying. I consider deflecting. I consider telling her that my personal life is not a topic for discussion.
Instead, I tell her about the kiss.
Not the details, those are mine. But the fact of it. The corridor outside my quarters after movie night. I leave off telling her about the pleasure his mouth induced. The way my knees went weak, and my walls came down, and I retreated to my room and pressed my hand to my heart like a girl in one of the romance novels she is always trying to get me to read.
Paige makes a sound that reminds me of a dying keth'ra. Her hands fly to her mouth, and her eyes go so wide I can see the whites all the way around.
"A'Vanti!" she gasps. "When? When did this happen? Why didn't you call me immediately?"
"It just happened. I've barely had time to process it. Plus, things have been rather busy since then."
"I don't care if the planet was on fire, you call me for this kind of news!" She is practically vibrating. "And? How was it? Was it everything? Please tell me it was everything."
I think of the way the universe narrowed to a single burning point. I think of the ache that bloomed inside me, sweet and devastating.
"It was... adequate," I say.
Paige stares at me. "Adequate."
"Quite adequate."
"Your scales just went three shades darker, you absolute liar." She jabs a finger at the screen. "I knew it. I knew it from the moment I saw you two in the lounge that first week, when he brought you that blanket and you looked at him like he'd handed you the stars."
"I did not look at him like?—"
"You did. L'Awai and I had a bet. He said it would take at least six months. I said less than that." She preens. "I win."
Despite myself, I laugh. It comes out slightly watery, and I press my fingers to my lips to steady myself.
"He is having dinner with me tonight," I admit. "He asked me to share a meal."
"A date." Paige's voice softens, the teasing melting into something gentler. "You're going on a date."
"I don't know what it is. It could just be dinner."
"It's a date." She reaches toward the screen, as if she could touch me through it. "A'Vanti, listen to me. You deserve this. You deserve someone who looks at you the way Cody does. Don't you dare talk yourself out of it."
The tightness in my throat returns, but this time it is not grief. It is something warmer, more fragile and precious.
"I miss you," I say, and the words come out with more feeling than I intend.
"I miss you too." Her voice catches slightly. "But I'm going to be here when you get back, and you are going to tell me every single detail. Every. Single. One."
"Within reason."
"Nuh uh. Every detail." She holds up a finger before I can argue.
"Paige, I need to go. I still have to get ready, and we're meeting in less than an hour."
"Oh my God, go! Go go go!" She flaps her hands at the screen. "Go get yourself prettied up for your date. Not that you need to do much. The man would worship you in a burlap sack. But do it anyway. For you."
"Goodbye, Paige."
"Goodbye, ice queen." Her smile is radiant. "Go melt."
The screen goes dark, and I sit for a moment, smiling at nothing. Then I rise and move to the small mirror mounted above the washbasin. I study my reflection, turning my head slightly, examining myself.
