Bah, I am lying to myself again. I knew exactly what kissing Cody would do to me. That he, of all the beings in this galaxy, would not leave my senses intact. Truthfully, I wanted this. I wanted him.
I push off from the wall and move deeper into my quarters on unsteady legs. Tomorrow, I face my homeworld. Tomorrow, everything I've been preparing for begins.
But tonight, all I can think about is the feeling of Cody's lips on mine.
I don't know if I'll be able to sleep at all.
CHAPTER 6
Cody
The alarm crashes through my dreams like a tsunami, and I jolt awake with a curse already forming on my lips.
For a disoriented moment, I can't remember why I set the damn thing. My body feels like it's been filled with sand, heavy and gritty and desperately in need of more sleep. After the movie last night, I ran a scouting mission, mapping debris fields so the transport vessel could navigate safely. By the time I was done, the night was already bleeding into morning. But that doesn't explain my bone-deep exhaustion.
The kiss. I barely slept once I finally fell into my bed. Every time I closed my eyes, I was back in that corridor with A'Vanti, her lips soft on mine, her body arching into mine.
I look around my quarters sleepily, trying to get my brain back online.
Then it hits me.
We're arriving at Ceraste today.
I'm out of bed before the thought fully forms, adrenaline burning away the fog of exhaustion. My quarters are small, and I manage to stub my toe on my storage locker as I lunge for the closet. The string of profanity that follows would make my drill sergeant proud.
On my way to my shower, I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and wince. I look like someone dropped roadkill on my head. I need a haircut.
Ten minutes later, I'm clean, teeth are brushed, hair is beaten into submission, and I'm dressed in a crisp, fresh uniform.
I grab the small carved gho'ba bird from my nightstand and tuck it into my breast pocket, right over my heart where it's lived since the moment she pressed it into my hands.
The corridors blur past as I half-jog toward the bridge, still tugging at my collar and trying to get my uniform to sit straight. I probably should have taken more time. But there's a pull inside me, an instinct that's been growing stronger with every passing day, and it's tugging me toward A'Vanti. Somehow, I am certain that she is already there.
She'll want to see her world the moment it comes into view. And I want to be there when she does.
Not because she needs me. A'Vanti doesn't need anyone. But I've spent enough time watching her, learning her, cataloging every micro-expression that flickers across those golden features. I know the difference between the mask she shows the world and the woman beneath it. I know that today is going to cost her, and I want to be there to help shoulder whatever weight I can.
Even if all I can do is stand beside her.
The bridge doors slide open, and I realize that I might actually be the last to arrive.
The room is packed. Scientists and warriors, Cerasteans and humans, all crowded around the massive viewing screens thatline the far wall. There's a hum of anticipation in the air, a collective held breath. I spot L'Tarne at the pilot's station, his long fingers moving over the controls with fluid precision. L'Zaen stands near the sensor array, his tall frame bent as he studies readouts.
But my eyes find A'Vanti immediately, the way they always do. Like she's a beacon and I'm a ship that's been lost at sea.
She's standing apart from the others, positioned near one of the large viewing screens on the starboard side. Her back is to me, with the cosmos stretching before her. It's an endless tapestry of stars and darkness, and she stands silhouetted before it like a figure carved from starlight. She's in tactical gear like the rest of us, the dark fabric fitted close to her body, but somehow, she makes it look like armor forged for a queen.
She looks like a painting. Like a mystical war goddess or a mythical creature designed to bring men to their knees.
I must make some kind of sound. Or possibly I just stand there with my mouth hanging open like the lovestruck idiot I am.
A'Vanti turns away from the view.
Our eyes meet across the crowded bridge, and I watch relief wash over her face. It's there and gone in an instant. She's usually too controlled, but I caught it. A brief, unguarded moment when her composure cracked, and vulnerability shined through.
She's terrified.
Of course she is. She's about to see her planet for the first time since everything was destroyed. She's been putting on a brave face for everyone. She's always stoic, the symbol of Cerastean resilience, but underneath all that armor, she's a woman who lost everything and is about to confront the ruins of her past.
