Cassie
S’samph sat in a chair opposite the bars while Cassie dripped lavender canal water onto the floor. He handed her a towel without a word. She threw up more water before accepting it with shaking hands. S’samph was also soaked, sitting there in his standard brown jumpsuit, water dripping a slow rhythm on to the floor. His frill was plastered against his spine. Cassie pressed the towel against her face and then tossed it aside to heave up more water, this time through her nose.
The canal had been warm from the sunlight. The peak of heat season left the water warm and glowing. It was so easy to slip under, to let the water hold her. To let her breathing stop.
“I need you to talk to me, Cassie.” S’samph held the speech device up in front of her so it could capture her hands.
She stared at him. “About what?”
His tail swished. “Help me understand why you were in the canal.”
“It was warm.”
“You aren’t safe to be alone.”
“It’s cold in here.” She shivered for emphasis, wrapping the damp towel around her shoulders.
“I am trying to decide the best way to keep you alive.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I think I do.” He rose from the chair. “I will talk to Eleri. You will return to the clinic with me, and we will figure out what to do next.”
Cassie shuddered. “It’s not worth it.”
“It is.” Still dripping water behind him, S’samph stalked out of the cell. Cassie curled into herself, trying to find any scrap of warmth she could muster.
CHAPTER 49
Cassie
“Don’t fret about Dove, my passeri. Another will come to take her place.”
Two weeks had passed since they started trying to bring Örim back from the dead. Cassie couldn’t remember most of it. “It’s time for the next electrical input, Cassie.” Aglao entered the dark room with the device S’samph and K’kaen had retrofitted from some outdated pulsar weapons.
“Can I stay?” Cassie pressed herself closer to the reseeding tank, to the cluster of crystals forming around all that remained of Örim.
“No. It’s higher than human-safe levels.”
Cassie tried to protest, but Eleri came into the room, and she found herself banished outside into the afternoon heat. The last time she’d been out here, she was in the canal. Cassie ignored the thinly disguised stares as she picked her way to the dock house.She’d scratched her arms bloody too many times to count. She didn’t even bother trying to hide it anymore. No sharp objects. Eleri had locked them all away. She’d stopped visiting the pichari. She’d stopped practicing with her pulsar gun.
Back at the dock house, she got on her hands and knees and started to sort through the debris, collecting shards of him. Each fragment glittered in her palms. Each piece a tiny, permanent reminder of what she had done. Cassie wept while she worked. The scrape of concrete dragged against her knees as she crawled around on the floor.
“How long are you planning to do that?”
Go away.She glared at K’kaen, who was leaning in the doorway of the dock house, watching her with his frill flattened.
“Nope. S’samph said if you’re hurting yourself, you get extracted.”
“I’m not hurting myself.”
K’kaen picked her up by the back of her jumpsuit while she hurled signed expletives at him. “You’re not?” He pointed to her knees, which were scraped and bleeding.
“It’s time to go, Cassie. What you’re doing to yourself is not good.”
“I can make my own decisions.” Cassie started to flail. She’d only collected a tiny palmful of shards. It wasn’t enough. She had to stay until she’d found all of him. Every piece.
“Nope. S’samph is in charge. He says you’re not allowed to make your own decisions until you stop hurting yourself. He’s got IA paperwork and everything.”
