It hurts.Cassie finally said.It always hurts.
“Do you need pain medication?” Örim wasn’t willing to leave her again, but he’d carry her with him to go get the pills if that’s what she required.
No.She shook her head and pulled him toward her. With her hands around his, she guided his palm to the center of her chest.It hurts here.
“You feel your pain here? Your heart?” His hand pressed against her sternum. Örim considered if he’d read anything about this in the IA manual about humans. He remembered something. Heart pain. Emotional pain. Not something that could be medicated easily.
Cassie nodded.I don’t want to hurt.
“What did they do to you? Can you tell me?” He sat next to her.
She told him then. Örim listened, deadly still as she explained with her hands and her datapad. She told him about the clients she served. The physical and mental abuse she suffered at the hands of addicts and the Aviarist. The friends who had died or disappeared. More importantly, she told him about how she’d tried to save the other passeri when the IA had come to liberate them, how she was certain they were going to die.
By the time she had finished, Örim was filled with a level of rage he hadn't known he possessed the capacity to feel. A rage so incandescent, he didn’t know what to do with it, so he just held her. He reminded himself that she was here now. He reminded himself that the Aviarist would see some form of justice, whether by his hands or the IA. It did little to quiet the storm brewing inside of him.
Örim’s jaw clicked shut as his energy core roared with a surge of emotion. Cassie blinked up at him.
Why are you hot?Her hands pressed against his chest. Örim removed her fingers, clutching them in his own, not wanting her to burn herself. He wouldn’t cope well if she were further injured.
“I am angry, Cassie. I am livid at those who harmed you. I want to destroy the people who made you feel like you don’t want to be here. I want them to suffer.”
Cassie glanced away from him.I’m sorry.
Örim worried he had frightened her, so he willed himself to still the crackling of his energy core. She needed him calm. “I struggle when you’re hurt from anything. It’s hard for me to manage my feelings when you hurt yourself.”
Some days are harder than others.She stared at the bandages on her arms.Some days it is too hard. Sometimes it’s the only thing that helps.
“Then let me share your burden. On days it is too hard for you, I will carry whatever you need. Whatever you need. Whenever you need it. Take it from me.”
Tears welled in her eyes again, but this time she made her gratitude sign. Örim was relieved when she didn’t start attacking herself again. He would do some research after she was asleep. He needed to learn more about human emotional pain and human self-injury. Even though teösians seemed to have analogous challenges, he wanted to be certain he understood the best way to help Cassie.
After removing his dusty outer clothes, he climbed into her nest beside her. “Do you want me to stay?”
Cassie nodded as she pulled herself into a tight ball under one of the blankets. Örim sat beside her with his hand on her hair, waiting until her breathing leveled out. Afraid to leave for more than a brief moment, he crept away to grab his datapad and then sat back next to her. She reached for him in her sleep, pulling him closer. Örim placed a pillow on his lap and settled her down against him. It would be more comfortable than lying on his hard frame directly.
While she slept, he learned. Humans harmed themselves for many reasons. Despair, pain, cries for help, control. He didn’t know why Cassie harmed herself exactly, but it wasn’t hard to discern the reason. The more he read, the more unsettled he found himself. Humans killed themselves. It wasn’t even particularly uncommon, but he couldn’t let himself consider that possibility. He was overwhelmingly grateful he didn’t require sleep. It meant he could protect her always, where another might not. Teösians did not cry. They had no tear ducts, but if theycould, he suspected he might. He had no heart, but the deep ache in his chest node was impossible to ignore.
CHAPTER 39
Cassie
There are cameras in all the client rooms.Cassie pointed to the blinking red dot in the leftmost corner of the room.
“For us, or for them?” Rhea asked.
Both, I think.
Rhea’s small hand found hers as Cassie led her out of the room.
Cassie sat at the workbench bending flowers out of wire while Örim went around their home and collected all the visibly sharp objects, locking them away in his desk. He wasn’t subtle about it. She knew what he was doing. She knew why he was doing it. Cassie decided it was best to pretend it wasn’t happening. They’d had an argument that morning about clipping her nails even shorter. Örim was not handling her refusal well.
Then there was the holofeed he’d installed in the main room. He insisted it was an additional safety measure in case anyone tried to enter their home, but she knew why it was really there. She couldn’t even argue with him about it. He was afraid. He was afraid because of her, because of what she’d been hiding. That’s what cameras were for, after all, to keep you safe. She’d heard the explanation before.
One of the flowers snapped, the sharp wire edge poking into the pad of her first finger. She kept the pain to herself, even as a single drop of blood fell onto the table. Cassie swiped it away before Örim had a chance to notice.
Her arms itched. Cassie reached under the bandages to try and deal with the maddening discomfort, but Örim’s hands were around hers before she had a chance.
“Don’t scratch. I’ll give you some anti-itch cream.” He examined her bandages. Cassie winced as he noticed the spot of blood she’d wiped up from the table. “Are you bleeding again?”
