The joke is on him, and he hates it. I can feel his gaze snake up to the still-healing mating marks on my throat even after I return my eyes to the dirty floor. He wants to remove them. The cruel brute won’t rest until all markings of my time with the Enduares are erased.
Obliterated.
“Come, Estela,” Rholker says, walking over to unlock my cage. I stand up, suddenly very aware of his size. “The water is warm,” he adds, as if that would appease me.
I hesitate, reminding myself that he’s seen me naked before. Hell, he has made people bathe before.
But… I’ve changed. I’m not just some slave that he can torment and threaten into his bed. If Rholker touches me, my Fuegorra will burn him with light and he knows it.Mybody belongs tomy matebecauseIgave it to him.
You can endure this a while, escape, and exact revenge with Teo at your side.
I wince even thinking his name. It’s wrapped up in too many ruined memories. The pain makes me take a deep breath, turn off my feelings, ignore all sounds, and keep my eyes fixedon the floor. Whatever words pass between the woman and Rholker are lost.
Moments later, I feel her warm, soft hands guide me to the space next to the tub. I look down at the water, and blood rushes in my ears. The fire in the corner used for heating the water suddenly feels too hot.
The laces at the back of my dress start to loosen, one by one, with sharp hissing sounds. It almost reminds me of dragonflies buzzing through the air in springtime, which is a better alternative to snakes slithering into my cage and paralyzing me with their bite.
But delusion only lasts so long. When I grab hold of the large metal tub for stability, a bit of the too-warm water splashes on my knuckles. It doesn’t even touch my face, but the room tilts sideways all the same, and I shove away as hard as I can.
A part of me registers that I hit the soft body of the comfort woman, but it feels like I’m back in the cage, tilted at an odd angle, and water is forcing its way up my nose, down my throat, restricting every airway.
I’m drowning.
Gods-damneddrowning.
I focus on sucking in air since it’s become a scarcity. I gasp and tremble as the layers of fabric are removed from my body.
Don’t die. It’s just a bath.You won’t die.
But it might be good if you do.
“What’s wrong with her?” Rholker has the audacity to ask, as if he hadn’t spent a week watching the Six torture me.
The comfort woman gives an apologetic response that I don’t fully hear as she guides my naked form back to the side of the tub. My skin presses against the warm brass metal, and I pause.
This time, the metal actually reminds me of my idyll home—of Enduvida. The place I have to get back to… after I get Mikal.
I hold my choking breaths and lift one of my legs to place it into the tub. The water is warm like it was on the night of my wedding.
As fast as a tidal wave, I smell blood. Terror. The damaged memory.
The sensations from before return tenfold. Water in my mouth, throat, and lungs.
I twist to run away, but my foot gets caught, and I fall. I land atop the comfort woman once more and she shoves me off, shouting, “¡Quítate!”?1
I push away from her, my back flat against the wood planks beneath me, while my chest heaves. Rholker’s face appears in my view, looking down at me with worry. He reaches out and hesitates when my gem starts to glow.
Rholker says, “Pick her up this time. She’ll need to be put in like a babe.”
My head whips back to her. Her dress is covered in water stains, and her cheeks are flushed from pushing, hauling, and then catching my fall. She doesn’t deserve this. Finally, I speak to her.
“Por los dioses?2,no. Please.”
Her eyes are hard, but her arms still wrap around me and lift me up. The comfort woman is stronger than she looks, or perhaps, I’ve lost weight again.
When I try to fight or push away, she makes a labored sound, but she doesn’t let me go. She doesn’t so much set me in the tub as she does drop me in. The liquid sloshes and splashes. My lungs seize again, and I fight to breathe.
Red and orange light bursts from my body, and the woman cries out, shielding her eyes.
