The midnight battle.
I take a deep breath and let him lead me over to our makeshift bed. My heart continues to race, and my stomach churns, but I let him remove my armor. He rubs my muscles and kisses me sweetly.
“Tell me another story,” he says gently. “That usually seems to settle your stormy thoughts.”
I look up at the leather tent above us, seeing the image of Mikal nearly dying, before diving deeper into the memory. Why he was in the fields in the first place.
“When Mikal was ten years old, I was meant to go to the breeding pens. He didn’t want me to leave. It was a natural thing for a young boy to do; he felt so protective of me.” I blink away the burning sensation in my eyes. “He saw how Rholker treated me, though I tried to protect him from the worst parts of the prince’s attentions. I think he felt it was his job as a boy who would one day be a man.”
Teo tucks one of the hairs behind my head. “As was right. He was very brave.”
I look at my husband. “No, I was older. I was protecting him. Going to the breeding pens could’ve given me the chance to have a child and bring one of the human men into our hut. He would’ve had someone else watching him, instead of a seventeen-year-old mess.”
Speaking of such things feels fundamentally wrong while laying in bed with my mate, but Teo doesn’t look upset. He places his spectacles on his nose, which kindles a warm attraction.
I take his hand as he continues to listen. “Anyway, he thought that if he got hurt I would have to stay and heal him. He knew that the giant king didn’t want him dead, and while he was mostly left alone during work hours, there were certain…measurestaken to ensure he was well. I think Erdaraj mostly liked seeing the ghost of our mother’s face peeking back at him.”
Teo’s face clouds.
“That’s awful. Gods,” he drags his hand over his face, “what did he do to himself?”
A part of me knows how deeply Teo has felt the loyalty to hisfamily. That was why he obeyed his father when he sent him to Lijasa. The injustice of it all makes my blood burn.
“His first day in the lumber field, he was careless, and he destroyed one of the lumber carts. They put him on a whipping rack and tore his back apart.”
The words are blunt, but the memories slice right through me.
Teo stills at the pain radiating off of me and the glow of my skin pulsating across my arms and hands.
“Then what?”
“Rholker wouldn’t let me go to the breeding pens anyway. So, Mikal did it in vain. As a present, I rescued an old fox for him. He loved it for as long as the creature lived, and I think about how sweet he was with that small animal.”
Teo smiles.
“We don’t have many pets under the mountain. He’s sixteen, so I don’t know if he would still enjoy such child-like things. If he does, I will happily take him hunting through the tunnels myself. I know some of the elves have a kindness between their domesticated wolves.” He offers and then draws away from me to begin to rub my tight leg muscles, after a long day of riding.
Then it’s my turn to smile. In many ways, he is a better parent than me with his nurturing spirit. I subconsciously lay my hand over my stomach.
“You will be a good father.” I freeze when I realize the words actually slipped past my lips.
His hand stills on my calf muscle as he looks at me with those large silver blue eyes.
“Estela,” he murmurs. It is a plea, a prayer. It isfearitself. Not for the idea of being a father, but for the fact we are discussing this a handful of hours before we charge into battle.
Looking at him, I realize that I haven’t bled in a long while.When I first returned home, I had assumed it was because of my malnutrition.
My thoughts race, and my grip on the windows in my mind loosens. I had considered getting or making contraceptive potions, but every time I broached the subject… I realized I didn’t want to. Some part of me craved such a connection with my mate. It wasn’t carelessness, it was a damned glimmer of idyllic thoughts.
My heart rate picks up. “I—I don’t know why I said that. I don’t know?—“
In a blink, he moves from his position, and then he is kneeling on the bed next to me. I wish I didn’t think it was so pleasing to see him lean down and place his ear to my belly.
“Teo, I don’t think that’s how that works. You can’t just hear a small babe?—”
“I would hear my child,” he says firmly.
“No—”
