Then I put my pen down again.
When I was nine years old, my mother had my younger brother, Mikal. The bastard of the Giant King Erdaraj. He was large, and my mother was small. I was the only one around to assist with the birth, though I knew little of the act. She screamed so loud it hurt my ears. I was scared.
Mikal was born, and the blood never stopped.
The king had many children with the wives in his court, many of the sons sank into obscurity over time, and every daughter was swiftly murdered. These men—Terksat—the giants called them. They hated my brother.
As did the giant princes.
A teardrop falls onto the paper. I press my hands to my face.
“I don’t know why I’m writing this. It wasn’t one of the memories attacked. But I can’t forget those moments, too,” I say, sadness ripping apart my insides.
Thinking of Mikal reminds me of the giant woman beheaded in the court, and I cry harder. She had no mother to save her.
“Get Arlet,” I hear Liana say as she rubs my back.
My friend’s name is bittersweet. We’ve grown so far apart. It hurts to think of what was lost between the two of us.
“The king wanted to kill Mikal and me after our mother died. And when I was in the court… they chained me by my throat, and they brought a woman to be beheaded. They had killed her child,” I sob, finally looking up at Liana. “I wish you’d never showed me those cards. What if we are the ones who die? What if we doom the future to a life of the giants and not the… peace in Enduvida?”
“Of what do you speak?” Ulla demands, but Liana purses her lips, her eyes growing glassy as she continues to stroke my back.
“Estela, the cards weren’t supposed to frighten you so. They were meant to help you practice crystal reading.”
I sniffle, “I—There’s so much I don’t know about reading the future. About this magic.”
Liana nods. “And now you are god-touched. Daughter of theLight Weaver. You have more magic than you know what to do with.”
I nod. “Yes, I feel it.”
Liana wipes one of the tears off my cheeks. “You are a fast learner. Why don’t we go riding tomorrow? Perhaps the proximity todrathorinnawill inspire her to call you.”
My heart stutters at the thought of the giant mother of wraiths. I long to join her at her side, and pluck out new notes of power, but I must be patient.
“Or pick some of your flowers?” Ulla offers.
Shaking my head, I say, “No. Mrath is coming. It will have to be after.”
Behind us, I hear Arlet’s voice. “Estela, are you all right?”
She says it seconds before her arms wrap around me. It’s a level of kindness I’m unsure I deserve, but I accept it anyway. I nod against her.
“I’m sorry, I was watching over the new women. Some of them have been learning to weave.”
Liana watches this. “How did you two become friends?”
It’s an awkward question for me to answer, considering the cavern between us. One that Arlet doesn’t seem to notice.
When I continue to be silent, Arlet clears her throat. “She saved me and took me in after the man who’d gotten me pregnant cast me out.”
Ulla’s eyes grow wide. “You were in the breeding pens?”
It’s strange how much they know about those places now. To be honest, it’s more than I do.
Arlet nodded. “They put me with a boy I’d admired my whole life. I was praised when it appeared I became pregnant. But then… soon after we were given a space so that he could help me with the pregnancy and prepare a space for our child, I lost the baby.”
I blink, reliving her pain. The air is too heavy. Everyone is quiet.
