“I don’t want to hurt anyone else.” Then I amend with, “Except Rholker.”
She pats my cheek. “Understandable. But you won’t ever truly have the freedom to promise yourself that if you don’t learn control. Do you understand?”
I nod despite my burning eyes.
“It’s good that you train with Svanna and the elves. They will teach you how to fight as a woman should. Now, you must train with me as awisewoman should.”
I nod my head. “You are right.”
“Of course I am. Lesson one, forgive yourself for the mistakes you made and, most importantly, change,” she says firmly.
I manage a soft yes through the moisture gathering in my eyes.
“Come now, my child. Don’t let the shadows swallow you up now, not before we have a chance to start. Follow,” she commands, letting me go and walking down the steps toward the scrying grotto.
I do as she asks, focusing on keeping my breath even, so that I might not spiral into the unknown abyss that still lurks in the back of my mind.
Passing into the grotto is difficult, as it is on an incline that descends into a chamber. I have to use my arms to lower medown and then crouch to reach the right spot, avoiding sharp crystals.
Once inside, however, it calms me down. The harmony in this space is intoxicating and peaceful all at once. The ebbing pulse of mineral music and magic massages my skin, making my scalp tingle and my fingers itch to touch each surface, smooth or jagged.
I stop my perusal of the area when I spot a figure. Liana wasn’t alone, apparently.
“Lord Vann?” I say, surprised to find him sitting, legs crossed on the ground.
I wipe under my eyes quickly, drying any evidence of my high emotions outside.
Around him are dozens of small pots filled with shimmering liquids. With a small brush, he paints on rectangular pieces of black obsidian.
He looks up at me with a stiff expression.
“My Queen, good morning. I was helping Liana paint her cards,” he says simply.
“What cards?” I ask.
Vann hands Liana a card and a brush, and she begins to paint, too.
I knew that she had been wanting to speak with me, but I knew nothing about cosmic pictures of humans and stars on the cards.
She jerks her head to the side, gesturing for me to sit between Vann and a sharp spike of pale yellow citrine.
“Come, gaze upon thehlumscri.”
I let myself smile despite my mind being weighed down with Liana’s words and thoughts of Melisa and her choice to leave.
“Hu-loom,” I fumble. “That meansglowin Enduar.”
She smiles. “Glowing cards, in the common tongue. Verygood. Sit, sit. Vann won’t be rude. See if you can tell me what kind of stones I’ve crushed to make the paint.”
I blink and then gingerly reach forward to collect one of the cards. As I pick it up, I let it shimmer in the light emanating from flecks of dozens of different gems. It takes practice to open not only my ears, but my heart. There’s a beating song that seems to latch onto the negative thoughts in my mind and steal them away. The movement of the sound reminds me of theruc’radscavenger rats that steal food.
“I hear the obsidian for certain,” I say.
She huffs a laugh as the card itself is clearly razor-sharp obsidian. “Do you, now? How about anything else?
I press my lips together, glancing at Vann as he holds a shard close to his face with expert precision. Listening carefully, I also notice the evergreen song of malachite.
“Malachite?” My voice has an uncertain wobble to it that I know causes the frown on her face.
