Itwasan ideal night.
But something felt off to me almost the entire time.It’s not until Jack’s gone that I finally realize what.His mom was terrible, yes.Some of the things she said were rude, and all of them were calculated to hurt me, but...
They were also mostly true.She was right that I might drag Jack down.It’s precisely because I make him happy that he might stay with me even though he’d be better off with someone else, someone his age, someone Irish, like him.Tonight was nice, but it also felt sad.
It felt almost like a really lovelygoodbye.
21
Natalie
The holidays are always busy.In fact, almost every year since the kids started school, the whole month between Thanksgiving and Christmas has felt a bit like a blur.Holiday parties, one I usually hosted, school events, and parades, along with teacher treats, parent teacher meetings, church parties and service, it all comes over and over like waves crashing over my head.
I still love Christmas.
It’s the best time of the year in every way.
Butboy, it gets busy.I’m not surprised that now that I’m running a business and doing the other things all alone, it only feels busier.There’s some kind of weird property tax loophole that’s closing in Ireland before the end of the year, so Cillian’s been doing showings and prepping paperwork and closes literally from seven in the morning until nine at night almost every day.He told me to expect that through year end.
And I get it.
I’m a business person too.
“You are an idiot,” Sam grumbles.
“That one went so well,” I say.“Look.”I twist the camera toward her, and the baby’s face, little dimples popping, is the cutest thing in the world.
“Conor wanted to kill that baby every time it squealed.”She’s scowling.“It squealed alot.”
“That horse is just so gorgeous with the Christmas wreath,” I say.“His coloring.”I make a kissing sound and hold my fingers by my mouth.
“That was our last photoshoot,” Sam says.“I forbid any more.”
I scrunch my nose.
“What?”She almost shouts.“What did you do?”
“They’ll be here in five minutes, and I thought it was fine, because look.”I point.“Conor’s already clean and decked out.”
“If he chucks this next brat off, that’s on you.”Sam stomps out of the tack room, definitelynotradiating Christmas cheer.
“They paid double as a rush fee,” I shout after her.“I couldn’t say no.It’s?—”
“The off season.”She’s shaking her head as she walks away.“I know.I bloody well know!”
I swear, sometimes I think the girls would prefer we go bankrupt than work hard.Business is all about inconveniencing yourself for the convenience of others.That’s always been what it is, and that’s why you’re paid.When I remind them of that, it just seems to tick them off.
The photo shoot, when the two cute little kids in Christmas plaid arrive, goes beautifully.Even Sam has to admit that Conor liked the little girl with the curls.
“See?”
“Don’t be smug.”She’s scowling.“It’s not cute.”
“Oh, come on,” I say.“They were so happy, and now they want lessons for the girl.”
Sam sighs.“Do not say it.”
“I won’t say that I told you so, but only because you already know, so I don’t have to.”
