“Oh boy,” Natalie says.“Now she’s costing us money.”But she’s smiling.She’s already mentioned that she might want to buy Conor from the hotel business just for Hannah if they continue going the way they have been.I get why she wants to, but I love Conor so much—I’ll miss having him on the rides we do with more advanced customers.
“Alright, now the one thing you need to remember, no matter what, is to release the reins after your half-halts.Conor slows up as soon as you ask, so you don’t want to punish him by choking back after you’ve asked.”
Hannah nods, and I watch her hands give just an inch or two.
One of the hardest things for even advanced riders is finding the balance between connection and severe contact on the bit.That balance is hard, and it’s always shifting as the horse learns more and gets more excited for his job.“Alright, same time tomorrow?”
All of them nod, and they start putting their horses away.It also means it’s time for me to move from Liam to Scout.The girls are all gone when I walk out to the pasture to halter the black nightmare.When he sees me, he runs toward me, ears perked up.
“That horse loves you,” Natalie says from behind me.
I nearly drop the halter.“I thought you’d left.”I spin around.“Is everything okay?”
Natalie leans against the gate.“I came to ask you that.”
“Huh?”I blink.
“You’ve been dating Richard for a while now, but you’re being weird about it.”
“Weird?”I ask.“How?”
She exhales slowly, studying my face.“I can’t—I’m not sure.Something’s off.You’re excited to see him.You two seem to be really happy, but if I say anything about next week or next month, you get all strange.You don’t make any plans.”She lifts her chin.“What’s going on?”
Well, shoot.
“You may as well just tell me.That look on your face confirms I’m right.”She narrows her eyes.“Is it that you’re worried about the kid thing?I thought you wanted kids, but Brent just didn’t really do his part.”
His part.
“No, Brent did his part.”I can barely speak.My throat closes off, and suddenly, I’m bawling.
Natalie’s entire face falls, and she grabs me, hugging me tightly.It takes me half an hour, and Scout spends most of that time bumping my shoulder, but I tell her all of it.The whoopsie marriage.The fertility treatments.The miscarriages.So many miscarriages.
And then I tell her the lie I told.
“Okay, but it’s not really a lie,” she says.“If I told you I didn’t want to ride, that would be true, even if I blamed a stomachache and really, I had a twisted ankle.”
“I told him I don’t like them,” I whisper.“I do like them.I love them.”
“But you conveyed that you don’t want to have children, and that partistrue,” she says.“You don’t want to put yourself through that again, and you shouldn’t.”She grabs my arm and drags me in for another hug.“And if,” she whispers in my ear, “he really, really loves you, he won’t ask you to go through any of that again.”
I’m not sure how long we’re there, but it heals my heart a little that she finally knows.I needed her to know.
“We should tell Vanessa,” Natalie says.“And I know you have a schedule to keep, and Scout’s really impatient.”She yips.“Ow.”She spins around.“He bit me.”
“Scout,” I say.“Stop that.”
He pins his ears, but he’s still tossing his head at Natalie.
“I’ll make him work extra hard today,” I promise.
“You better.”Natalie’s laugh-scowling as she takes a few steps away from my black demon.
When I get back to the arena, I think about Richard, and I try to come up with a way to tell him the whole time I work with Scout.He warms up great—he’s gotten better and better at the flatwork.And then we do some small jumps.After he nails those, perfect distances, great scope, I raise them and we go again.I’m taking him over three foot six, easily, when Rían walks into the barn.He watches for a minute, but then he says, “He’s looking amazing.”
I’ve taken his horse from a completely disastrous, non-rideable mess into a fairly solid citizen, albeit still quite green over fences.“I’m proud of him.He’s made fabulous progress.”I pat his neck.“Now watch this.”Part of me doesn’t want to show Rían what he can do.I’ve been considering trying to buy him, but I can’t afford to pay what he’s probably going to be worth quite soon.
I hug the corner, evening out his rhythm, and then I turn him toward the highest line.Three feet, and a three-three ascending oxer, and Scout sails over it without the slightest hesitation.He gets a little too excited, tossing his head twice, but he calms easily.We circle around and do the blue single, then a trot fence, then the other line, both at two-nine.He makes it look like a training exercise.“I think we’re going to try for some cross-country work next.”I pull him up alongside Rían.“You going to ride him this week?”
