“You are everything I never had, and everything I didn’t even realize I wanted—Ineeded—until you were gone.I’m going to make a lot of mistakes.I’m going to do really stupid things, like buy...”He clears his throat.“Things that you don’t want without asking.Then I’ll learn, and I’ll try to do better.”He bites his lip.“I can’t cook.I can’t decorate.My house looks like a model home, because the people I pay turned it into that, but that’s not what I want.I hate everything about it.I like beinghere.That’s why you’d never seen my place.I don’t even like my place.I listed it without caring.It was a place to sleep, but I never lived there.I’m not sure I’ve ever livedanywhereuntil I met you.”
Vanessa has walked in behind him, and her eyes look like saucers.“Whoa, you’re moving in here, now?”
Trace whistles.“That’s awesome, dude, congrats.”
“No!”I shout.“He’s selling his place to buy a house.No one’s moving in here.”
Cillian laughs.“But thanks for the support, kid.”
“Any time.”Trace does this weird head bob thing.
Cillian does it back.
Men are bizarre.Sometimes I wonder if the y chromosome warps their brains.
“Look, I know you have a lot going on.”The timer goes off, and Cillian winces.
I pull out the cherry pie.“It’s fine.Finish up.”
“I don’t want to finish,” he says.“That’s the thing.I want to be here with you and your amazing family.I want to eat burned rolls, if I make you burn them, and I want?—”
“Wait, did you burn the rolls?”Hannah jogs into the kitchen, her face stricken.“Really?That’s the best part.”
“The rolls are fine.”I exhale and my hair fluffs up, blessedly getting some air on my now-sweating neck.“Can someone open a window?All the ovens are making me really hot.”
“Are you sure it’s the ovens?”Vanessa waggles her eyebrows.
“Oh.My.Word.”I spin around.“Vanessa, you can watch the mushrooms, the rolls, and the ham, right?”I grab Cillian’s arm, and I pull him out the front door, without waiting for Vanessa to confirm.
We nearly plow over Samantha.Her eyes widen.“You.”
Cillian smiles.“I’m trying to do penance.”
She scowls.“What exactly did you do?”
“I sold my car and got that.”He points.“I have a car full of presents for people, including that bridle you talked about, the one with the sparkly bits on the browband.Halter Ego, I think is the company.”
Samantha’s beaming, now.“Well done.Carry on.”She winks at him as she squeezes past.
“Judas!”I shout.
“Oh, please.”She’s smirking.“You’d have sold me out for a Halter Ego bridle, too.Admit it.Especially when he’s clearly really trying.”The sadness behind her eyes breaks me.
I’ve been waiting all day for Richard, and instead we get Cillian.
But the second Sam’s gone, Cillian grabs my arms, and he pulls me close, and he kisses me.His mouth moves slowly against mine.His body presses against me from our shoulders to our waists.His arms wrap so tightly around me that I sink against him.
Then he presses closer.
My heart races.
My knees buckle.
And my toes actually curl.
He finally releases me.“Natalie, don’t push me away, not just for being stupid.All men are stupid, but I’m trying really hard, and I promise I’ll keep trying hard forever.”He brushes his hand against my cheek.“I’m greedy, and I’m juvenile, and I’m ignorant when it comes to kids and parenting, and I focus too much on work, but until recently, work has been the only thing I had.”He kisses me again.“Now I have more, and I swear, Natalie, I want it.All of it.”He stares into my eyes.“I want you and everything that comes with you.”
I sigh.
