And now it feels like he’s saying I’m not worth it.
“It’s just...it’s easier for me not to be around her, and not to let you be around her.Nothing I say can change her, whereas with the moms at school, if they keep being mean, I’ll just quit coaching.”
“You could tell your mother what she’s doing or saying that’s rude and that if she keeps it up, she’ll be invited to fewer and fewer things.”
He blinks.
“I mean, it’s the same thing, just with your mom, right?”
He swallows, and I realize...he’s scared of her.Scared might not be the right word, but it’s close.Unlike the moms, hecan’tstand up to her.For a moment, I want to break up.
Because I will be dealing with thisforever.
As long as I’m with him.
She’s his mom.
And she’s a raging jerk.
He can’t or won’t fix it, so I’ll be stuck dealing with it from now on.
“Jack, I think maybe?—”
“No.”He hugs me again.“Don’t break up with me over this.I can do better.”
How did he know?I hadn’t even said anything.
“I know she’s horrible, and I know I don’t stand up to her, but I can do better.I can.”
“The thing is, she’s your mom.You shouldn’t have to, and she does likesomepeople.She loved Sam.”
“My mom loves to be better than people.She loves broken things she can lord her superiority over.She liked Sam because she admitted she had no kids and wanted them.”He sighs.“My mom’s a bully, and she has self-esteem issues, so she likes to be around people she can make smaller.”
I blink.“You—you know all that?”
“I’m realizing it, anyway,” he says.“Thanks to you, mostly.You truly care for your kids, and you never want to hurt them or anyone around them.Trish is the same way.My mom’s not like that, but I want that in my home.I wantyouin my home and around my kids.Please, please be patient.Please give me some time to figure out how to help the right way.”
I watch his earnest eyes, his willingness to try.“Of course,” I say.“Yes.”
He beams.“I know you have to go, and this was supposed to be for Christmas, but I just picked it up, and...”He darts off.Two seconds later, after opening the trunk of his car, he’s back, lugging a large cloth-covered saddle.The cover saysStübbenon it.“Samantha helped me choose it.It was fitted for Foxy.”
He bought me my own saddle.“But I’ve barely been riding.”
“Sam said you’d sit better in a saddle properly fitted for you and your horse.”
“My—” I shake my head.“She’s just one of the estate horses.”
“Well, don’t tell her I told you.Your friends had her papers put in your name.”He smiles.“Your surprises for this year were that and the cottage.They’re good friends.”
I’m crying again, but this time it’s the good kind.
25
Natalie
The Fortwilliam Estate Hotel was decorated for Christmas the day after Thanksgiving.I’ve been brainstorming and running a dozen different promotions to keep bookings up in the off-season, and I’ve already got another nine bookings in place for the start of the year.My rooms for New Years are now full, thanks to Richard’s Lismore Castle Ball.
That’s a little awkward now, but I can’t help being grateful.
