But she said nothing. And that silence was everything.
So I kissed her.
It wasn’t careful. It wasn’t practiced. It was like giving in to a storm: wild, reckless, the kind a man survives only once.
Her hands found my shoulders, and I nearly lost my grip.
I told myself it would be one kiss. A mistake I could take back. But then her mouth met mine again, and suddenly it was more… too much. My hands found her waist, then her back, trying to memorize the shape of something I was never meant to hold.
I pulled her closer. Closer than I should.
I was losing control.
This wasn’t just a kiss. It was a tide. And I was being pulled under.
I broke away, breath ragged, forehead pressed to hers. My whole body shook with restraint.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “Malia, I’m sorry.”
She held me close, her eyes shut. “You’re leaving.” It was more of a statement than a question, and I felt the hurt and heartache beneath her words.
She would never ask me to stay.
She knew me… my life… the blood on my hands.
Her fingers clutched the fabric of my shirt, as she buried her face in my chest, hot tears kissing my skin.
“Thank you for everything, Malia, but… I can’t stay,” I said again, the unspoken truth wedging between us, a barnacle clinging fast to the hull of a sinking ship. My heart was pounding like war drums before a storm, and my blood pulsed through my veins like tidewater through a broken dam.
I wanted to stay.
Wanted this life with her.
But I could never be the man she wants and needs.
I pulled away, leaving her there alone.
Go back, Alaric!My heart raged at me. But it was silly to think we could work out. I belonged on my ship at sea, commanding fleets and men to obey my every word. We were too different: her softness, my rigidness.
Her kindness, my cruelty.
Her innocence, my shame.
Her beauty, my beastliness.
I stormed down the street, knowing this was how it had to end… even though every inch of me wanted to turn around and be with her again.
When I turned the corner, I stopped and took a deep breath, gazing out at the dark sea. So that was our goodbye. The kiss.
I rubbed my forehead and looked up at the stars. I wasn’t a very religious man, but I began to wonder, like Malia, why Akua allowed me to survive this long. There were many close encounters in my life, and many shreds of luck or coincidences that allowed me to survive.
Just like the whale with the white tail…
Taking a deep breath I rubbed my face again.What am I to do?
Go back to my whaling life…Go back where I belonged. Yes.
Just as I made up my mind and began pacing down the street, a sound pierced the night air.
