He groaned. Much as it pained her, she had to face the truth. “Look, I know whatever this is between us can’t be forever?—”
“What the hell are you talking about?” His eyebrows clashed together. “I want you—only you. The dark gods only know how much. But there’s something you must know?—”
“I know.” Her stomach curled into itself, and she forced herself off his lap, a chill rushing in where his warmth had been.
Confusion flickered in his striking eyes. “You do?”
She nodded. Much as it terrified her, she couldn’t pretend the elephant in the room wasn’t there. “Vaesarra. You care for her.”
One beat of silence. Then Race surged to his feet, a column of fury. Ash stumbled back in surprise, her legs hitting the bed behind her.
“I don’t know how many ways I’ve shown you this,” he snapped, his eyes pinning hers. “You think I would be with you—have my mouth on you—and want to kill those fuckers who so much as breathe in your direction, if I cared for another?”
“Skaldr said she loved you!”
“So, that’s your take on this? You decidedI’mstill pining because ofhiswords?” His flat stare scorched her. “And you,vixen? You’ve brought up your ex enough times. Am I your rebound?”
She scowled, her face burning, hating his acrid tone, hating the walls slamming back into place between them again. “You know that’s not true. It’s been several months since we broke up.”
“Do I? Oh, right. Because yousayso?” Sarcasm laced every word.
Her mouth tightened at the accusation.
“Then answer me,” he snapped. “Rebound, yes or no?”
“No!” she yelled. “And why won’tyoutell me yes or no?”Tell me you don’t care about her.
“Yes, Vaesarra and I were lovers, but that was millennia ago. Not your littleseveral months.”
“But she’s still in lovewith you. You will see her again and realize what you felt for her is still there. Why else would you kiss me, be intimate—thenstopmidway and put up walls between us?” Her fists shook, power prickling under her skin. “When you see her again, you will remember. Well, I don’t share—I won’t bloody do it!”
Ash shouldered past him, the room suddenly too small, too hot, everything spiraling out of control.I have to get out of here.
“Where are you going?”
“Away from you!”
He caught her arm before she neared the door, forcing her to face him, his anger seeming to drain. “Wait.”
“Why? All I asked was if she mattered. I didn’t expect this—” She waved her hand between them. “This argument. I’ve been there—different situation, but I’ve been there. Daft me, thinking just maybe I mattered a little.”
“Don’t you get it?” he rasped. “I’ve never told a soul about Tartarus. Then you came along, and I could finally breathe, because you sawme—not this.” He flicked a finger over himself.“You saw what’s underneath the brokenness, the ugliness, and you didn’t even flinch.”
Ash rubbed her chilled arms. “But if she were here?—”
“No.” A deep sigh escaped him. “I’m not the best at communicating emotions, unfortunately…” Then, as if he couldn’t stop himself, he traced a knuckle along her jaw. “If you want the words, then yes, Ash.Youalone call to me, on a level that I can’t even fathom.”
She blinked at him.
He watched her for a moment. “Nothing?” he teased, a hint of a smile appearing. “No smart retort? No calling me a—what was it—pumpkin head?”
Her mouth quivered, hope blooming brighter than the stars. “I only said that because you were being utterly impossible when we first met.”
“I know. But don’t you get it?” His gaze softened. “I rile you just to hear what you’ll say next.”
He did?
Race buried his face in the curve of her neck, inhaled deeply, as if breathing her in. “Watching you walk away felt as if you pulled my insides out and took everything with you.”
