“God, Lore,” she panted against his mouth. “You confuse me…”
Her husky voice filtered through the sensual haze, but her one word had him freezing.
What was he doing?
You’re an angel in service. You’re desecrating your vows, Loráed.
His belly churned as he lowered her to her feet, his gaze settling on her damp, kiss-swollen lips. A part of him wanted to sweep her back to him, but his ancient oath shot down the desire.
If the seraphs sought him now, he wouldn’t just be pulled back as compromised but be bound to the Celestial Realm, never to leave—not in Nia’s lifespan.
He stepped away, scrubbing his face, once more tightening his mental shields to stop these needs from messing with his mind and body. Still, they seeped out, leaving him with conflicting emotions. “I’m?—”
“Don’t you dare apologize!” she breathed, her passion-glazed eyes edged with hurt.
“I must…” How he managed to keep his tone even, he had no idea. “I saw the dagger in your chest. I lost my mind for a moment. It…it won’t happen again.”
“You said the same thing at the abbey.” Her throat worked as she swallowed, and the flames of passion dimmed, turning her irises to a dull amber. “The next time something else happens, you’ll kiss me again.”
He lowered his head and shut his eyes at the hurt in her voice.
“Then leave me wanting more when you suddenly remember who you are.”
His head snapped up, a part of him wanting to protest, but there was nothing he could say to make it right.
A bitter smile touched her mouth at his silence. “Yes, my life is a lonely one, but I’m used to it. I prefer it that way over dealing with another person not wanting…never mind.” Her chin tipped, a resolute expression settling over her pretty features. “Find someone else to take over as my protector, Lore. I mean it.”
Lore gritted his teeth, so he wouldn’t say anything he might regret, and aimed for the door. He was doing a helluva job of messing up everything so far.
A harsh, shuddering intake of breath followed him, and his chest constricted. He leaped down the stairs, crossed the living room, and stepped outside into the brisk night air, inhaling deeply.
Fists jammed in his pockets, he paced the small backyard. He never wanted to cause her pain, but he’d done just that. He’d crossed the line again and hurt her.
Find someone else?
Nia had no idea what that would mean.
He stopped pacing and stood near the tall conical tree, a wave of longing engulfing him. The alternative wasn’t just losing her, it was signing her death warrant.
Chapter
Fourteen
Exhaustion weighing her down,Nia groaned and buried her heated face in her pillow as last night came back to haunt her.
What the hell was I thinking?
This was all her fault. She started it by touching him again.
She’d only meant to thank him for healing her, but his kiss… It had stirred something deeper than just a physical desire within her. A yearning. The connection between them continued to tug at her.
Despite his aloof demeanor, he cared about her—something she’d never had in her family. Mentally, she kicked herself for being so needy, for letting it make her vulnerable to him.
With a muffled groan, she thumped her face into her pillow. She had to find a way to sever this draw to him. It couldn’t go anywhere.
She curled into a ball, not wanting to get up, but delaying wouldn’t change anything. She had to face him, face another change in her life, and say goodbye to the only family she’d had, no matter their differences.
Sighing, Nia rolled out of bed and shuffled to the bathroom as that ever-present energy and heat swamped her, causing her hands to tingle and her core to ache.
