“I was never meant to happen since only lust drove them…” He shoved his hands into his jeans pockets, staring past her to the cliffs behind. “Among immortals, only destined pairs can have a young, but with my sire being one of the few ancient deities, the rules didn’t apply. He didn’t claim mymataas mate, either, despite spawning me. I stayed with her for the first few years of my life. She might have cared for me, I don’t recall. There were always servants around to see to my needs. When I turned five winters, she sent me to my sire.”
“Why?” Shadow asked. “You were so young.”
His flat gaze came back to hers. “She couldn’t handle the dishonor she’d brought to her pantheon since she’s also the Goddess of Purity, and had broken her vows of chastity. So yeah, I became a constant reminder of her fall from grace.”
“But that was cruel. You were only five.”
“It mattered little. To redeem herself, she sent me off to my sire in some subterranean place. He decided he couldn’t keep me, either, and I was packed off to the Greek pantheon. It’s why the warriors sometimes call me Greek.”
“You don’t like it?”
He shrugged. “Don’t really care what they call me. I squired with Zeus, who reigns over all the gods there. But I didn’t fit in anywhere, I grew up adrift. My search for purpose led me to sign on with Ares’ army. It wasn’t enough, either, then I joined the gladiators. It was bloody, brutal, and suited me—”
“Those weren’t death fights, were they?” she asked, a chill creeping through her at his violent way of life from such a young age.
“During a match, they were. All powers became nulled in the arena, and it made the fights more interesting, I suppose, but I didn’t care. It made me brutal beyond compare. Despite my growing status as a deadly fighter, it wasn’t enough…” Mocking laughter now. “I don’t know what the hell I was hoping for. Thank fuck, I’d gotten past that pathetic stage.”
The longing for acceptance?Anger and hurt for him warred within her. “I’m so sorry—”
“Don’t be. It’s all in the past. It no longer matters.” He pivoted, pacing toward the edge of the mesa.
“It does to me,” she whispered to his rigid back.Because I feel the pain in you.
The winds carried her voice, and he wrenched around. “You want to hear the sordid truth about the aberrant no one wanted? Is that it, Shadow?” he demanded, retracing his path to her.
“No, Nik.” She held his glare. “I want to know because you matter to me.” More, she didn’t want the old wounds bolted inside him to fester like it obviously was.
“Right. I had females like those whocaredback in the pantheon. All they wanted was to tug a predator’s tail, or in this case fuck a rabid fighter—”
“Nik, stop.” Her stomach twisted at his self-deprecation. More, it hurt that he thought she would just up and leave him at their first hurdle.
“You want the ugly truth, Shadow? Very well. I’m a half-breed, a mongrel in their purist eyes. So what do you think happened?” he asked, a tic pulsing on his jaw. “Before my gladiator days, I was a stray, yearning for scraps of affection. To belong somewhere. My powers of cryokinesis seemed equally pointless. Who the hell needed ice? Hell…” He shook his head and rubbed the snakehead inked on his neck.
She frowned.But your powers are lethal. You can kill—
“Yeah, I hadn’t come fully into it back then,” he answered.
Wait…he heard her?
Before she could ask aboutthat,he continued. “Except for this…” He touched the serpent again. “My mother put this protection spell on me as a babe, and I could take on its smoky form since childhood. It can kill through suffocation, but that’s about it.”
Whoa. Shadow gaped. Thank god he didn’t morph into an actual snake. She preferred her man on two legs, not slithery.
“No, I’m not a shifter.” He cut her a sardonic look. “Anyway, I’d just turned twenty-one when the missive arrived conscriptingyoungersons asprotectors to the Goddess of Life. I signed on anyway. Might as well be useful elsewhere. And there you have it, my amazing past.”
Shadow ignored the droll tone, stepped closer, and slipped her arms around his hard body, hugging him. She had no idea if her family had loved her or missed her since her disappearance. But more than anyone, she understood loneliness. She saw it in him, saw it behind all the layers of hardass. Chains still bound him to his past.
After a second, his hold on her tightened like a vise and he buried his face in her hair.
Heck, breathing was overrated anyway. But she was grateful she had him back. God knew they had a tough road ahead of them, but she would never walk away. Not now.
“You’re not leaving?” he asked as if sensing her thoughts again.
“No.” She inhaled his scent, soaking in his warmth.
His head lowered and pressed his lips to her throat, the brief kiss sliding a tingle of heat through her. “Then there’s something I must ask you.”
She eased back. The sun had long set, and beneath the flashes of silvery light from the moon hidden behind the dark clouds, he was all chiseled angles and sharper planes, and far too somber. “It sounds ominous…” she teased, trying for levity.
