“That I was dying, and he would save me any way he could?” Hurt spread that this was all he thought of and not that she’d survived. “Nodes, symbionts, whatever they’re called, I’ve lived with them for five freaking years! I wished many times Nate had let me die instead of living with this curse, but he’s a stubborn ass, just like you!” She tossed him a furious glare.
“Don’t.” He shook his head and pressed his eyes. “The thought of you dead…”
“Do you have any idea how hard it was in the early days after Nate disappeared?” she demanded.
His gaze snapped up. “The bastard left you alone to deal with all this?”
“Oh, he gave me a crash course on the dos and don’ts,” she said, tone rife with sarcasm. “But I couldn’t blame him. I was worse than a rabid vampire in the grips of hunger. I attacked him, drawing onhisenergy. Then…then, while he was gone, I killed an innocent demon who came to the garage,” she whispered, regret swamping her.
Too edgy to remain still, she paced to the bathroom window as she spoke. “I waited too long to nurture the nodes. I was ravenous and in pain at the backlash, so I touched him…I only meant to take a little, but I couldn’t stop feeding. He collapsed and disintegrated right in front of me.” She pivoted, tears burning her eyes. “These things inside me are killers…”
“It was an accident.” Nik crossed to her. “Just so you know…” He caressed her cheek with his knuckles. “I would have made those fuckers who hurt you pay first before I killed them. But you’re here now. No one will touch you, ever.” A vow.
His mouth brushed her brow. “Thank you for what you did down there in the cell, for so bravely or foolishly risking your life for me…” His lips twisted into a wry smile. “I didn’t think I’d ever feel normal—whatever that is—but you’ve given me a modicum of peace.”
Hearing his words, the turmoil within her settled. Or maybe it was the freedom of getting everything she kept bottled for so long finally off her chest. She leaned into him, pressing her cheek on his bare pecs, absorbing his faint warmth, his strength, and his arms tightened around her.
“How could I stand by and not help you when you were hurting?” she asked. “I felt something was wrong, and that feeling tugged me to you.”
“I don’t know whether to be relieved or terrified,” he said drily, his big palm stroking down her spine, causing her to smile. “Is that why you chose to live underground, because of the symbionts?”
“It wasn’t intentional.” She stepped back, clasping the gaping fronts of the sweater. “The night I left the garage, I didn’t know how to fight properly. Aba, Nate’s demon friend, showed me how to defend myself, butdemoniiswere a whole other ballgame.”
She stared at the series of stylized stars inked on Nik’s left pec, remembering the horrible night. “It was the first time I came across them. They didn’t react when I touched them, maybe because of not having true souls, and I saw their fangs. Terrified, I ran. They gave chase. I ducked through an alley but tripped and fell into an open manhole. It saved me. Eddi found me moments later, sitting in a pool of sewer water…” Sorrow engulfed her, knowing her friend was gone.
“We’ll get the ones who killed him,moró,” Nik said softly.
She inhaled deeply, then continued. “Eddi took me under his wing, and I’ve been with him ever since. I realized it was safer to stay there, and I occasionally visit the garage.”
Nik parted the torn sweater she clutched and carefully peeled back the gauze. The symbionts gleamed like dark ruby-red stones.
He frowned. And she knew why. The lesion along her sternum had closed, but her flesh remained swollen and red around the middle symbiont.
“Nik.” She grasped his wrists as he retaped the dressing. “What did you mean I gave you amodicumof peace?”
His concerned expression morphed into the cold, hard man she first met. “I’m a magnet for dark souls. When I kill demons, if I’m in the way, their souls enter me instead of sinking to the Purgatory, and their battering inside me is a relentless cacophony. There is no rest from them.”
“So you don’t sleep?” she asked, shocked. “At all?”
He shook his head. “The only way to cope is—wasto let my abilities freeze everything inside me. Even my emotions.”
Shadow blinked.My poor Nik. “How did this happen to you? Becoming a soul catcher?”
A stark look of torment darkened his eyes.
Fear gripped her. “Nik, what is it?”
He wheeled around to the basin. Head lowered, the muscles on his broad back bunched, hands clenching the countertop.
“I told you about me,” she whispered. “Things I’ve never told another soul, and you won’t let me in, not even a little.”
You can’t demand his truth when you’re not staying.
The fight bled out of her. For a moment, she’d forgotten her own dark reality.
“It doesn’t matter.” She pressed cold fingers to her heated face. “Is Lore still here?”
He turned his head to the side, his stare piercing her. “Why?”
