“I’m sorry…” He dragged his fingers through his hair, messing it. “I’m fucking losing my mind. I can’t stay here. This place, the damn silence is already driving me crazy.” He tore off his t-shirt as he strode between the house and the garage, disappearing around the building.
I chewed on my lip, torn. Dammit, I couldn’t leave him like this. I sprinted after him. “Jack, wait!”
He didn’t stop, just tossed his shirt onto one of the sun loungers on the spacious terrace and headed for the small gate on the far side. He passed through it and stormed down the steps to a steep, winding cement path that led to the beach far, far below. Shit. I stumbled to a halt at the start of the walkway. Of course, the house was built on a cliff.
With little choice, I shoved off my wariness for heights and, keeping near the solid wall, hurried down the sloping pathway, grateful for the steel railings.
“Jack—” I grabbed his arm. “Dammit, will you stop for a second?”
“Why?”
“Where are you going?” I demanded.
“For a swim, if that’s okay with you!” He tried to walk past me, but I stepped in his path. “Jack, listen to me—”
He removed my hand, didn’t even look at me. “I don’t want to hear it. You want to leave, then go.”
I glared at him. “You’re not making this easy.”
“Easy?” Harsh laughter left him. “You think this is easy for me? ThatIhave it easy, Ray?”
It was the bleakness in his eyes, the pain in his voice that cracked through my wariness. “What do you mean?” I asked softly.
His chest heaved, and he shook his head. “There is no need to take on my shit, too. You already stretch yourself too thin with all you do.” He started walking again, but at least he wasn’t storming the dangerous path. I followed. And before I could stop myself, the words were out. “If I stay, your family…”
He pivoted to face me. “I don’t give a shit what any of them think. The only person that matters is Pops. If he were here, he would add his voice to mine. He likes you. And I do, too…” His low whisper drifted to me on the sea breeze.
“What?” I breathed. My heart in my throat.
“You have to know…” His burning gaze held mine. “From the moment I kissed you at the BlackRock hotel, it was as if the fog in my mind had cleared. You were all I saw. The thought of you walking away is seriously fucking with my head becauseIknow once you leave, you won’t come back. Won’t give me the time of day again.”
My mouth opened then shut at his revelation.
He wanted me. He genuinely wanted me. But as much as I-I wanted him, too, my cautious side was hard to let go. “I never expected things between us to turn around in this way, to get serious. I have plans, Jack. I want to finish university, get a good job, and make strides in my career and life.”
“What’s stopping you?”
“I didn’t want any distractions—”
“Right. Then this conversation is a waste of time.”
“But you bulldozed your way into my life,” I continued. God, the man was a tough nut. “And I’m at a loss because I don’t know what to do.”
“Then why can’t we be together while you do this? People have done it before.” Those mercurial eyes held mine.
Yes, they had. My problem was that I’d seen what shit men did…but there were a few good ones. No matter his former player lifestyle, Jack had given me glimpses of the kind of man I’d thought no longer existed. A good one. A reliable guy. A caring partner… But as terrified as I was of opening myself, I understood, too, that if I walked away, I’d never know what could have been between us.
His mouth tightened. He slipped his hands into his jeans’ pockets and turned to stare at the waves battering the rocks far below.
“Okay.”
At my soft answer, he went motionless, then he shut eyes, and his head lowered for a moment. He gave a little nod. “Thank you.”
But I needed to make a few things clear. We needed rules. “Jack?”
Those churning, light eyes met mine. Nothing showed on his face, but I sensed his wariness. Trying for levity, I smiled a little. “Don’t look so guarded. I’m not going to say anything you won’t like.”
“In my life, it’s expected.”
