More laughter spilled free. Now she was caressing my backside, and wouldn’t you know it, my damn cock was so on board with what she was doing.
“You’re crazy, you know that?”
“Maybe. But when it comes to you, I’ll fight dirty to keep you.”
She giggled, the sound a balm to my bruised heart. Yes, I would fight for her with whatever arsenal I had—
The truth hit me like a sledgehammer in the chest. I stumbled.
“Max?”
I answered. I know I did, but I had no idea what I said. I tightened my hold on her. So glad she couldn’t see my expression. Awe and wariness flowing through me.
Yeah, I’d fight dirty to keep her because this girl held my heart.
Ila
After Max and I had made up in the rain, and then in the shower, the day flew by pretty fast with work, and my afternoon appointment with Gus. Then Max left after dinner to go see Jack. The guy was “mad as a rabid coyote.” Max’s words. It seemed Jack’s brother-in-law had slapped him with a restraining order, after all.
It was close to eleven when I finally tumbled into bed. And probably much later when a warm body curled around mine. Drowsily, I whispered, “Max?”
“Yeah, it’s me. Go back to sleep.” He stroked my hips then pressed a kiss to my nape. A deep breath escaped him, as if he were exhausted. I’d wanted our first night here to be different, but no matter. Max had so much going on. I was just happy we were back on track.
My eyes snapped open, darkness surrounded me…something felt off. I reached for Max. His side of the bed was warm but empty. I sat up and saw him standing near the window. “Max, what is it?”
Slowly, he turned to me. Shook his head.
Worry surged. “What’s wrong?”
“I can’t deal, Logan. I just can’t.” His tortured words slashed at me.
“Deal with what?” I asked, my stomach squeezing in apprehension.
“The nights. Everything gets to me when I try to sleep—I have to go.” He pulled on his clothes.
“Wait—wait!” I threw off the covers, yanked on sweats over my underwear, and raced after his fast-retreating form.
When he opened the front door, I shot after him, down the few steps to his Jeep parked a few cars down. I climbed in as he started the SUV. Without a word, he took off down the street. I had no idea if he was aware I was there with him. He seemed to have retreated into himself. The anguish and pain in his expression tugged at me. No matter, I would help him—do whatever I had to.
Soon, we were on the highway. He was driving too fast. A long while later, he slowed down. I had no idea where we were, probably somewhere near Half Moon Bay. The road was quiet, the ocean glimmered eerily in the moonlight. He parked on the shoulder of the road, barricaded from the steep, several-meters drop with low, snaking rails. He leaped out of the SUV and strode over to the fence. Worried, I got out, shivering in the early morning breeze. Max knelt in front of the barrier, his hands gripping the metal railing.
“Max!” I ran to him, the stones on the curb stabbing my feet, realizing then I’d forgotten my shoes. My heart hurt for him, finally understanding exactly where we were. Dropping to my knees, I wrapped my arms around him, holding him tightly so he’d know he wasn’t alone.
“I come here, hoping to remember, but it all stays locked inside here.” He stabbed a finger at his temple. The husky, broken words cut me deep. “Look at how far this drop is, Logan. I survived, why didn’t she? Why?”
With no idea what to say, how to ease his torment, I held him tighter, my eyes misting, and pressed my lips to his head.
“It’s my fault she died, Logan, my fault…”
“It was an accident.”
“I was drunk.” The words were an agonized whisper. “I was drunk, Logan.” He buried his face in my chest, his silent tears wetting my skin. At his immense pain, my tears flowed.
A long while later, a shuddering breath escaping him, he wiped his eyes on his sleeve, rose to his feet, and pulled me up with him. I shivered, rubbing the goosebumps dotting my skin. His red-rimmed gaze swept over me, then he hauled off his tee. “Put this on.”
“Max, I’m fine. Let’s get back into the Jeep.”
Without a word, he dragged the t-shirt over my head and waited. I sighed. He was so stubborn. I slipped my arms through the sleeves. His warmth instantly surrounded me. But the lines of pain and grief remained etched on his stark features.
