Several heads look up at my request. I don’t know how I feel about being at the center of all this gossip, but I suppose it’s just the cost of being with someone like Ronan.
Or, not beingwithhim, per se. Being near him. Being around him. Wanting to spend every waking moment of every single day in his company—
Gods, I’m fucked.
Ronan wipes his mouth with his napkin—his beautiful, perfect mouth that feltso goodon mine, not that I’m thinking about it—and gestures to a door at the back of the room.
I walk around the long table and follow him to it, letting him hold it open for me. I smell the scent of his cologne as I pass him, and it takes me back into his arms. Resisting the urge to reach for him, I follow him through a courtyard and into the small antechamber to the throne room where we met.
He looks around the room and then at me, unsure whether to sit or stand. Unsure of how much distance he should put between us. Without feeling it, I can sense his confusion. Have I brought him here to admonish him for his behavior last night? Or to continue it?
Neither, unfortunately.
“I saw Hermes leaving the party last night, and I followed him. I followed him back to the alley Mery told us about.”
“On your own?”
“No, Stella followed. You ordered her to do so.”
He nods. “She knows where you went? And why?”
“Not why, but she knows I was looking for someone there. I’m sorry. I didn’t want to argue with her and miss the chance.”
“It’s fine; I’ll handle it.” I don’t ask him what he means. I know him well enough to know that it won’t be bad for Stella. “What did Hermes do in the alley?”
“He met someone. Another alchemist. I couldn’t see their face. They went through the door, and then nothing. I followed after them—”
He puts his hand on his face. “On your own? Sylvie—”
“Yes, yes, I know. I shouldn’t have done that. But there was nothing there. Stella came in and had a look as well. Nothing but undisturbed dust. I don’t understand it.”
“Some kind of magic or elixir, most likely, to cover their tracks.”
Again, I find myself wishing my mother were still around to ask.
“I haven’t seen Hermes back yet this morning,” I tell Ronan. “He was supposed to be joining the hunt.”
“He may know you’re onto him. Damn, I hate that we’re leaving the palace today. I need someone to keep an eye out for him.”
I don’t want to say it, but I have to offer. For the sake of the shadow-born. “I can stay. I can follow Hermes if he comes back.” I don’t really enjoy hunting anyway.
“Do you want to stay?” he asks. But the real question he’s asking is, “Do you want to stay away from me?”
And there’s only one real answer to that. “No,” I say, taking a step forward. “I want to go with you.”
“Good,” he says, his shoulders relaxing. “I’ll ask Taran to stay, maybe. He won’t ask questions. Or Stella, since she already knows some of what’s going on.”
Now that I’ve taken care of business, I’m deeply aware of us being alone in the room together again. “Ronan, I—”
“If I let myself talk to you about what happened last night, I’m going to try to pick up where we left off. And if I do that, I don’t think we’re going to leave this room. And as much as I want to tell Sai to go fuck himself and his damned hunt, I can’t. The court has been looking forward to it more than anything else. We have to go.”
“Yes,” I say, inching a little closer. “We have to go.”
“Don’t do that. Stop feeling things at me.”
“What am I feeling?” I ask him, my voice pure innocence.
He groans. He knows he shouldn’t say it. He knows what’s going to happen if he says it.
