I am trying to be better.
The things you said about me. You meant them, but they aren’t true. But I want them to be. I want to be the person you see me as.
And I want to get to know you too. You’re brilliant and funny and you are just—
Was she bold enough to say it? Here, crouched in the dark in the toilets alone, writing by candlelight?
—so ludicrously gorgeous. It’s unfair.
I will do whatever it takes to get you back here.
I still need to try that tea coffee of yours. I am convinced it will be awful, but I must find out for myself.
She had done it. She had put herself out there for him to take or leave. There were no lies in what she wrote. No trickery ormalice. No desire to trap him into a confession for the sake of mockery.
She didn’t know if she could do this.
But she wanted to try.
Ceri, I am speechless. Wordless? Is there a Loegrian word for not knowing what to write?
We all have a past. I am not certain if I believe your interpretation of your own. Often, we are our own worst critics. But either way, it does not concern me. From what I know of you, all I know is that I want to know more. Your past, your present, your future. The good and the bad. Whoever you are and will be.
I hope we will have that chance once I return.
P.S. It is simply insane that you, of all people, would call me “ludicrously gorgeous.” If I am so to you, I’m certain it’s only because you are lucky enough to see me through perhaps the most beautiful eyes in existence.
P.P.S. Tea coffee is divine.
Ceri knew she should probably leave it at that for the night. It was very late, or perhaps very early. The candle was nearly out, and she was exhausted.
And she probably would have, but she realized there were a few more things she should tell him, for the sake of his safety.
Do you have the ring with you that you took from Idris’s office? Idris said it’s extremely dangerous, especially with your other objects. I’m assuming they’re with you. Idris’s friends went through some kind of ordeal tonight that seemed to be connected to them or possibly to something in the college. I’m not sure if it would be the same where you are, but you might wantto store the objects if you can, separately, just in case.
It was a long time before Ceri received a response, so long that Ceri worried the candle would burn out.
Funny you should say that. Whatever it is, it’s here.
I’m hiding in the toilets.
Tear these pages out and keep them in case they’re of use. But please, tell the others about the journal.
Please, I need hel—
The writing stopped right there.
Chapter Twenty-Two
AN EARLY MORNING CONFESSION
Alison
Alison awoke to the sound of Ceri’s voice as she shook Idris awake.
“Idris, wake up! I know you can hear me. I need help!”
Alison’s neck hurt from the night spent on the floor. It was still dark when she opened her eyes, but it was difficult to tell if that was because it wasn’t yet dawn or because the boarded-up windows let in so little light to make it seem like it was still nighttime.
