The power pressed against something within Alison. It felt like a knock against a door. A request for entry into her thoughts and memories.
Alison didn’t know what would be shared if she answered, but she did it anyway.
For Keir’s sake. And Charlotte’s, too.
She allowed the door of her mind to open wide. Out spilled a thousand hopes and dreams and wishes, memories of good times and bad. The joy of meeting Rinka and the pain of losing her father. The boredom of her old job and the peace she felt in the garden. The love she felt for the town, for Gwenla, for Weyland, for Lady Sibba, for Willow and Dinah.
And Keir.
“Focus it,” said Nolwynn. “Close it down to what we need to see.”
Alison focused on Keir, closing the door until only he remained.
She brought them to the memory of her first conversation with Keir about his sibling. The memory from several months earlier was hazy, with the only clear image being Keir seated at the kitchen table. Charlotte shifted uncomfortably as the memory focused in on Keir’s words.
Alison’s memory of the conversation did not play out like a picture show. Instead, it existed in fragments, but the gist wasclear: their mother had given Danny a doll named Charlotte, the name she would have given Danny if he had been born female. The name Charlotte had taken for herself once she’d known who she was, Alison realized.
“I remember that doll,” said Charlotte. “I loved it so much.”
Their father had broken the doll and blamed it on Keir, who was too afraid of what his father would do to him to defy him. Though her memory of his words wasn’t exact, Alison could remember exactly how Keir had sounded as he spoke, the pain and regret in his voice.
She moved then to other memories: tales of Charlotte climbing trees and riding horses and making friends in town. She let Charlotte see Keir through her eyes, all of the joy and love and sorrow and longing he felt as he spoke of the sister he had no idea still lived.
And then she brought Charlotte to the memory of the vine. Those memories were crystal clear. She allowed Charlotte to watch the picture show of the loop they were caught in, how they’d tried over and over again to come up with a way to save her, and how finally, after exhausting every other option, Keir had accepted that she was gone and let her go over the falls.
“But I wasn’t gone,” Charlotte said. Alison let go of Charlotte’s hand and opened her eyes once more. Charlotte’s rosy cheeks were streaked with tears. “I was right here for all those years. I saw him sometimes. I’d see him riding with Father, and sometimes I’d see him reading alone up near the house. I kept my distance—I was terrified of him. I was terrified of what he’d do if he knew I was still alive.”
She took Alison’s hand again. “Is this truly the Keir that you know? I want to believe you, but it’s so hard. It’s been so long.”
Alison could not imagine what Charlotte must be going through. To have the entire story of her life rewritten, to realize that everything she believed about her family was wrong. To findout that she had been loved and wanted and missed after years of believing otherwise.
“This is the Keir I know,” she told her. “This is the Keir I love. I am certain that the thing he regrets most in this world is not doing more for you. I know that he would do anything to go back and change things and that accepting that he can’t has been the most difficult thing he’s ever had to do. I know that finding out you’re alive is going to be the greatest thing to ever happen to him. I know this must be so difficult to hear and understand, and I don’t blame you a bit for doubting it. But I hope you can find it in yourself to forgive him. You both deserve the chance to know each other again.”
Alison knew these things not just because she knew Keir, but because she knew how they felt in her own heart. She knew what it was to long for just one more day with someone; she knew what it was to relive every one of their final moments, seeing the mistakes that were made and the things that she missed so clearly in hindsight. She had watched her father’s final breaths, and still, all these years later, she’d wake up some days hoping to hear his laugh just one more time.
But for Keir, it could happen. And while she felt a tiny bit of envy, what she felt the most was elation that this impossible wish could come true for him.
Charlotte wept quietly as she listened to Alison’s words. Alison took her in her arms again, and this time, she returned the embrace.
“I can’t believe I’ve wasted so much time,” she said. “I’ve spent most of my life blaming the wrong person. I don’t know how to come back from that. You said you hope I can forgive him. But how can I ask him to forgive me?”
“There’s nothing to forgive,” said Alison. “You were a child, and you were scared. You both were.”
Alison held her for a good, long while until Charlotte stopped weeping and let go.
“Thank you,” said Charlotte. “Thank you for sharing your memories, and thank you for your patience and your comfort. I’m sorry. I don’t even know your name.”
“I’m Alison.” Alison held out her hand to shake.
Charlotte chuckled. “It’s nice to meet you, Alison.”
Then Charlotte turned to Nolwynn. “I’ve had a good life here. I don’t regret staying with you, and I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. You saved me. You made me who I am.”
“We let you be who you are,” said Nolwynn. “You did the rest.”
“And I thank you for it. But I want to see him again. I hope you understand.”
“Of course,” said Nolwynn. She wrapped her small arms halfway around Charlotte’s torso. “There will always be a place for you here if you want it. Go. Be with your brother.”
