Alys nods, her face still pinched.
My attention shifts from my mother’s sickly face to Alys’s again. “You said you’ve done all you can… Is she going to die soon?” My voice comes out flat.
My stomach sinks. I fidget with my amulet and close my eyes as they start to sting.
“I will increase the dosages of her elixirs, and we’ll see if any changes happen. We can only wait and see. I’ll speak to Iywan about Briony.”
CHAPTER 23
Durvla
The week goesby in a flurry of knitting, cutting, measuring, sewing, exuberant meals, walks around the castle, horseback riding lessons, and heavenly baths. How can I ever return to Cluain Baile, to the minuscule tub in my tiny home? I want to fetch Taig and smuggle him into the castle. He loves bath time. I can only imagine how much he’d enjoy splashing around in the tubs here. My heart aches every time my thoughts float back to him.
My nights are filled with recurring nightmares in varying degrees of horror. I’ve dived wholeheartedly into the making of the princess’s dress, into my survival here at Paramount. Whenever I allow my mind to be idle, I’m left feeling like my life has been diminished from a greater, more rewarding existence of caring for another human being, to living out a reality that just isn’t mine. I feel like an impostor every time I step out of my room in beautiful dresses thatdon’t belong to me. Every time Ellynne and Lowri smile at me in the hallways. Every time I catch myself staring at Major Kilkenny a little too long.
Heisvery easy on the eyes but, by the gods, he is infuriating. Everything he does is for Princess Carys. It’s like he doesn’t have a mind of his own. Then again itishis job, and everything I do is for Princess Carys too, isn’t it? Maybe it’s just how things are here in the castle. The lives of those who serve the royal family have but one purpose: to serve the royal family.
My head hasn’t been hurting as much as it usually does lately. My ears seldom ring, and I’ve yet to have any episodes. Perhaps the gods figured I have enough to deal with and they’ve given me a break from my own rebellious body.
I’ve gotten used to facing the door whenever I’m deep in my work. That way, I’m less startled when someone barges into my room.
I’m sewing one panel of the knitted dress bodice when my door flies open. Princess Carys storms in as though she’s on a rampage and Kilkenny stands in the open doorway, his back to us. Princess Carys’s ochre eyes are brighter than usual, her brows lowered, her back rigid. “Have you finished?”
I jump to my feet out of respect, but I don’t curtsy. She hates that, I’ve learned. “I… have not,” I admit. “The bodice is nearly complete, though.”
She laughs, but the ire on her face only sparks brighter. That’s not disturbing at all…
“Thebodice,” she repeats. “Is that all?”
“It is the most intricate part, the most involved. The lower half is fabric. All I have to do is layer and sew it together, then attach it to the bodice and do the?—”
She yawns theatrically and turns on her heels, starting to pace. I follow her steps, tilting my head frequently in an attempt to catch aglimpse of her lips—to catch her words. It isn’t until she whirls to face me again that I catch the end of a sentence. “… waste of my time.” She closes her eyes and pinches the bridge of her nose, one arm folded across her torso.
The words settle in the pit of my stomach, and heat blooms. A shiver runs down my spine, like ice, countering the heat. I clench my fists, my nails biting into my palms, and for a moment my vision darkens around the edges, around the princess’s figure. I want to scream at her. To tell her thatshe’sa waste of my time. After all,Iwas the one ripped away from my home, from my family, from the only lifestyle I’ve ever known, all because of a dress that I’m now being forced to make forher.
Kilkenny glances over his shoulder, his eyes widening. He slowly shakes his head as if telling me not to give in to the anger rapidly fueling my body. I inhale deeply and breathe out.
“I gave you my promise,” I say to the princess, hoping that my voice sounds as calm as I want it to. “Your dress will be complete before the Feast. That gives me eighteen more days. A lot can get done in eighteen days. It will be worth the time. I swear to Rhianu.”
This seems to douse the fire in Princess Carys. Slowly, her posture softens. Her forehead is still creased, and I can tell she wants to yell again, but she doesn’t. “And how are you so sure of yourself?” she asks me.
I shrug. “You had faith in me.”
The creases in her forehead disappear and her jaw unclenches. She sighs and tips her head back toward the ceiling as if praying to the Mother. Then without another word, she turns on her heels and marches out of the room, tugging the door behind her so that thefloor shakes.
I collapse onto the bed and sit there for a while, staring at the door and expecting the princess to make an explosive reappearance. She doesn’t, and eventually I sag with relief. My hands are shaking too much to get back to work right away, though eventually I’m able to collect myself and press on. To earn my release from Carys’s service. To get back to Taig.
CHAPTER 24
Carys
I’m notproud of my outburst. Especially when beside me, Tiernan is a mask of disapproving silence. “Say something,” I grit out.
“What can I say?”
“Something annoying, no doubt.” To my surprise, he chuckles. It’s so rare and so surprising that it provokes a brief smile from me.
“I know you’re worried about Queen Morwenna’s health,” he says quietly.
