“Stuffy. There isn’t much to show, but I’m not afraid to show what Idohave.”
“Oh, understood.” I chuckle, more relieved than amused.
Carys begins to pace in front of me, but she glances at me often enough for me to read the words on her lips. “I want … that is mysterious and … gerous. People need … that I’m not to be toyed with.”
“Mysterious and… dangerous?” I ask. “And that you’re not to be toyed with.”
Her pacing halts, her eyes narrowing. “Yes,” she says, though she clearly wants to pummel me into the ground. I stand firm and breathe through the urge to recoil. I try especially hard to keep myself from asking what constitutes adangerousdress.
“But if you can’t do that…” She lets the sentence hang.
I’m not sure I can. I swallow around the lump in my throat.
“Durvla, if you make the dress of my dreams, I’ll reward you with anything you want.”
That piques my interest. “Anything?”
“Name it and it’s yours. Within reason, of course.” Her smile is slow, almost practiced.
I falter as I consider asking for wealth and comfort—clemency for harboring an Undesirable and being one myself.
“Well?” she demands.
I settle for the safest request that still works in my favor. “I’d like permission to go back home to Cluain Baile. And an exemption from all future Quarterly Raids.”
She blinks and stares at me. Have I baffled her? Here I am in the Fortress on the Mount, in the presence of the princess; it should be unlikely that I’d want to leave all of this behind. But my life’s purpose is not here in the castle—it’s back home with my brother. Not being a dressmaker, but being a caregiver. It’s what I do best.
“Very well,” says Carys. “But only if you can truly impress me.”
I nod. “That sounds fair.”
Incredulity crosses her face. “Well then, Durvla. Impress me.” She walks backward for a couple of steps, then turns and strides out of my room.
I collapse into the chair, limp with relief. It’s possible that I can go back home. It’s possible that I’d be able to see Taig, my dog Finn, Osheen, Orla, and Granny again. Even Eemer and Grawnye. I crumple my original sketch and begin afresh, my new motivation propelling me through.
I saunter around my temporary room. It’s extravagant yet rigid, lacking the coziness I’m accustomed to, but Taig could flourish here. He lights up any room. His crooked little smile, his too-hard hugs, and his amusing nuzzles with his head against my cheek are guaranteed to lift my mood, even on the most miserable of days. He is the epitome of making the best of a situation—of living life with inexplicable and unapologetic joy despite his limitations.
We began hiding him when he was three years old, aware that the Forayers who raided our homes would notice his atypical behavior and have our heads. Worse, they would’ve sent him straight to the Wastelands or wherever they send Undesirable children. I shudder to even fathom it.
To the village, we announced Taig’s death. It was safer having everyone believe that he no longer lived, safer that the Forayers chronicled his death in their records. The lie saved his life and ours. Osheen kept the secret from his parents. He’s the most loyal person I know. When my mother died, he stepped up without even being asked. There wasn’t much time for grief—I had another little human being to look after. Keeping Taig alive meant being his person all day, every day.
The older he got, the more attention he needed, and the more I dove deeper and deeper, latching on to my caregiver role. I wouldn’t trade it. I wouldn’t trade my brother. Not for all the luxury in the world.
CHAPTER 15
Durvla
In the morning,I wake to an orange glow behind my eyelids. I dare to open my eyes and I’m practically blinded by the rays of the sun. I squint, straining to make out a face, but there’s only a silhouette against the brightness—a mane of wavy hair that throws hope in to mix with my confusion for a moment.
But it’s not Taig. It’s Ellynne. I catch the end of her sentence.
“… a heavy sleeper.”
I rub my bleary eyes. “I am. Apologies.” As I scrub my hand over my face, I draw in a sharp breath, wincing. I’d forgotten all about my injuries and my face throbs, but last night I’d had the best sleep of my life. Guilt settles into the pit of my stomach.
“Well, you better get going. One of Carys’s guards, Major Kilkenny, is going to accompany you to Barr na Cahar this morning. He’s already waiting outside your door.”
If my confusion is visible, Ellynne doesn’t react. Instead, she heads over to my closet and rummages through it. She looks questioningly over her shoulder at me.
