Of taking Eefa’s dagger when she returns and shoving it into her heart before dealing myself the same blow.
Or of summoning my flamewielding and incinerating myself—if only I can figure out how.
The images play through my mind again and again despite the many times I’ve willed them away.
Durvla doesn’t dreamwalk to me anymore.
It’s rare that anyone comes in here anymore, and the same routine repeats endlessly. Wake. Use the chamber pot. Sip very little water or broth that’s somehow been placed in my cell whenever I doze for a moment. Pace my cell. Plot my death. Try to sleep.
Again, and again, and again—as incessant as that bloody dripping that reverberates inside my head.
For years, surrounded by servants and so-called friends, advisors and royal staff, I felt so very alone. Now, for the first time, I know what it truly is like to be alone. For the first time, I’ve been forced to come to terms with the dark thoughts that have always plagued me. The scream in my mind, vying for my attention, with no warm body in my bed nor strong drink to distract me. I even miss that strange internal voice I’ve gotten so used to hearing; it’s abandoned me, as everyone else has.
A scraping sound fills the silence, and I jump so hard that all my muscles protest. Heavy footsteps approach, and I squint at the ball of light that grows closer.
Bloody Briony.
Her steps are hurried, her face frantic in the glow of the magelight. “Your Highness, Iywan and Eefa are on their way.”
My blood runs cold, and I gulp.
“Listen, I need you to trust me for a moment.”
Laughter fills the cell before I realize the sound is coming from me. “Trust you? Why on earth would I trust any of you? I don’t know your motives, healer-priestess woman, but you’ve played a part in my torture. There’s no way in hells that I’ll ever trust you.”
She plants her fists on her hips and stares at me, her face flustered. “That is fair enough,but?—”
The door scrapes open again and footsteps thunder down the walkway toward me. With each step, my heart beats a little faster. I hate the effect they have on me.
“Good morning, Miss Carys,” says Iywan.
I frown at this new title as I try to still my restless hands in my lap.
“I am done playing games. If you do not give us the answers we seek, Queen Morwenna Meredyth, the Good, is going to make a miraculous recovery. In three days’ time, the queen will make a public appearance and announce her engagement and forthcoming marriage to me.”
The words swirl around in my messy head for a moment before settling in with sharp realization. “What?” My voice is coarse. I’m so parched.
Iywan turns to Eefa, and my heart jumps into my throat, my pulse leaping. I expect pain, harassment, and insults to be hurled at me. Instead, Eefa grows taller, her hair lightening to a golden sheen, her eyes darkening from green to brown. Suddenly, Eefa is gone, and my mother stands before me. It’s so uncanny that my jaw drops and my heart flutters in my chest like a fish out of water. I blink and remind myself that this is not my mother. This is a monster.
She poses. “Just imagine me with a crown, darling.”
“Stop,” I whisper.
“Tell us what we need to know, Carys.” Iywan steps toward me and I recoil.
Eefa laughs again. “Oh, poor kitten.” Her sweet tone makes me want to carve out her sadistic heart.
I run my tongue along my chapped lips. “What do you gain with this ruse? What happened to the ultimate power plan that you have?” My voice sounds so unsteady that it makes me wince. Gods, I want to carve out my ownheart.
“I gain time, Miss Carys. You will sit down here for as long as it takes to get the prophecy out of you, and up there, Eefa will pose as the queen until you’re ready to take your place. There’s always the autumnal equinox to open the Veil. We’ll wait if we have to. If not the autumnal equinox, then winter solstice. How long would you like to postpone the inevitable?”
Shit… hehasfound a workaround.
“So, what will it be? Do you want to stay down here as Miss Carys until you give in, or will you join the Zenith as our empress?”
“I’d sooner end my own life than do anything for you or the Zenith,” I say, my voice breaking.
The slap is hard enough to make my teeth rattle. I turn back to him, my lip stinging as I press my fingers to it. They come away bloody.
